To The Edge of the Universe
by Acathla
Summary: Guilt and fate collide in the life of Katherine Janeway. J7 eventual pairing...maybe. Starting with ch 8 there will be spoilers for Season 4 and beyond
1. Prologue

**To The Edge of the Universe**

Prologue

The doors to Admiral Edward Janeway's private office swished silently open as the young girl walked in. With the posture and the training of a Starfleet Cadet, young Kathryn Janeway stood in front of her father's desk waiting at attention for the Admiral to address her. He had summoned her to his office through official channels rather than a personal message which usually meant he needed to see her for something official.

The Admiral wasn't so much an unfeeling man as he was a busy one who took his responsibilities as a Starfleet Admiral seriously, and as such he was very careful not to let it appear as if his daughter received any special treatment. Especially after he was assigned as Headmaster of the Starfleet Academy just one year before his daughter had been accepted into Starfleet Academy.

Finally, after ten minutes of silence, Kathryn had had enough and spoke up, "**you asked to see me Admiral?"** Using her father's rank was one more way of reminding herself of the duality of her father's life. At home, she was free to call him daddy but outside of the house, he was Admiral Janeway, Headmaster of Starfleet Academy. And Kathryn was never truly allowed to forget that, a lesson she'd often resented but eventually came to learn and accept.

Admiral Janeway looked up at his daughter then with a small smile on his face. He was wondering how long it would take before she tired of the silence and spoke. It was a game he enjoyed playing with all the cadets under his command but one he only lost with his daughter. His goal was to see if he could get the cadets to stay silent indefinitely. Only Kathryn had ever broken the silence first. Every other cadet merely waited and squirmed under the silence.

"**Yes Katie. I wish to speak to you not as your commanding officer but rather as your father."**

This caught Kathryn by surprise. Her father only ever called her Katie when they were at home. For him to use that name now was unexpected and it took her a few moments to react, by then her father was speaking again.

"**Katie, I have a favor to ask of you concerning a friend of mine."**

"**What sort of favor father?"**

"**Erin Hansen and her husband are set to leave on a weekend mission this Friday. They have a 4 year old daughter and the mission is no place for a child so young. This being their first child, and having suffered two previous miscarriages, Erin is extremely overprotective of her daughter. Starfleet needs her and her husband's scientific expertise on this mission."**

"**Ok, but I fail to see what that has to do with me sir."** Kathryn had a sinking feeling she knew what her father was driving towards but chose to play dumb, wondering how exactly he's phrase his request, which would determine if it was truly a request or an order hidden within a request.

"**Yes, well, what I am trying to say Katie is, I would like for you to meet with Erin Hansen and her daughter. I would consider it a huge favor if you could...well...keep an eye on the younger Hansen while her parents are away on this mission."** Admiral Janeway was vastly uncomfortable asking his daughter this favor. He was always careful not to abuse his authority as Admiral and Headmaster for his personal benefit. Even though he was speaking as a father and not an Admiral and Headmaster he was still using his office for the discussion and of course, he had sent for his daughter through official channels. It was a fuzzy line he was trying to avoid crossing.

Kathryn simply stood there trying to absorb what her father was trying to say. Then it became clear. "**Dad, are you asking me to spend my weekend...babysitting a toddler?"**

Admiral Janeway actually squirmed a little under his daughter's glare. In this day and age, teenage girls weren't exactly fond of babysitting, especially those who were enrolled in Starfleet Academy.

"**Yes Katie I am, but only if you want to. This is why I want you to meet with Erin first. I want her to get to know you so that she may feel comfortable leaving her daughter in your care."**

"**Why me father? Why not ask Phoebe?"** Somehow, Kathryn knew that her father wouldn't trust this...task to anyone but family.

The Admiral smiled, "**Phoebe is capable yes, but...well I would prefer it be you Katie. You've always been the more responsible of my daughters. I would trust Phoebe with a great many things but with this task I think you would be better suited. Besides, something tells me that Erin would respond better to having a Starfleet cadet watching her daughter rather than a civilian, regardless of who that civilian's father happens to be." **

Katie knew the meeting was already scheduled, just as she knew her father would've never seriously doubted her cooperation. She liked to challenge her father on most things, not let him think he could simply order her about just because he was an Admiral. Her father had grown accustomed to having to convince her sometimes. This was just another of those times.

"**Tonight at 1930 hours. Erin and her daughter will arrive then. Please be on time and on your best behavior Katie."** He knew it was unnecessary to add the best behavior line but also felt that to not do so would leave a loophole he was not comfortable with.

Kathryn merely nodded and after a few moments was dismissed from the office to resume her studies. Kathryn knew that the evening ahead would prove to be significant though at the moment she wasn't entirely sure how.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One **

_Janeway House 1930 hours_

Kathryn was waiting in the living room for the arrival of Erin Hansen. She knew that the other woman would be on time and she wasn't disappointed when the doorbell chimed her arrival. As the lady of the house while her mother and sister were in Indiana, Kathryn answered the door and let their guests in.

Erin Hansen walked into Admiral Edward Janeway's living room holding her daughter's hand. She was still a bit intimidated when she stopped to think about how far her friend had come since their days at the Academy. Erin Hansen had befriended Edward Janeway during her first year at the Academy. Edward was in his third year and every girl at the Academy was after him. However, Edward was already taken by a young civilian named Gretchen that no one really knew a lot about. Erin had simply been content to be his friend. Rumors soon flew about the two of them and all the time they'd spent together but they paid them no mind. Edward had made sure his fiancé, Gretchen, knew the truth and that was all that mattered.

It wasn't until her second year that she met the man she was destined to marry. But throughout everything they'd been through and all the years that had passed, Erin and Edward had remained very good friends. Which was why, when this mission had come up that required her and her husband to both be away, she'd turned to her dearest friend for a solution. Knowing that there was no way that one of them could stay behind, she'd hoped Edward could still help somehow.

And now here she was, set to meet the girl whom Edward deemed responsible enough to trust with Erin's most valuable treasure, her daughter Annika. The young girl who had opened the door for her had introduced herself as Edward's elder daughter, Kathryn. Edward hadn't told Erin anything about the girl who he'd chosen to introduce her to so she had no way of knowing it was Kathryn herself.

Edward was waiting in the living room to greet his old friend. "**Erin, I am so glad you could make it."** Edward walked over and hugged his old friend, truly glad to see her.

Erin returned the hug and smiled, **"Edward, thanks for having me."**

"**And this must be Annika right?"** Edward turned toward the small child, knowing this was his friend's little miracle child. Two unexplainable miscarriages had preceded young Annika's arrival.

"**Yes this is Annika. Honey say hello to Admiral Janeway."**

The little girl smiled shyly before her bright blue eyes drifted to the quiet girl standing in the doorway. Annika looked at her and when their eyes met, she smiled brightly. The older girl smiled in return at the little girl. She was truly taken by the big blue eyes that looked back at her.

Kathryn would never be able to explain why but, that evening when she met Erin and Annika Hansen, something inside of her had changed.

By the end of the evening, Erin had agreed that Kathryn was the best choice to baby-sit Annika. Kathryn had truly been on her best behavior and had charmed her father's friend and, in a move that baffled even Erin, she'd gotten Annika to slide out of her shell and play around.

Annika, Erin explained, had spent the first three years of her life on a starship and the year since they'd been back on Earth isolated from other kids her age. Annika's higher than average IQ and the fact that she'd not been around any children her own age had led the girl to be very withdrawn, shy and quiet. The fact that, within only 30 minutes, Kathryn had gotten the young girl to laugh, play and be...well just a kid was an impressive feat indeed.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two **

Friday began ordinarily enough. Due to her babysitting assignment, Kathryn had been excused from her afternoon classes in order to take charge of young Annika at one in the afternoon when her parents' shuttle took off.

At 1300 hours, Kathryn and Annika waved goodbye to the departing shuttle as it took off and left Earth. Once the shuttle was out of sight, Kathryn held out her hand for Annika to take. "**So, what do you wanna do today kiddo?"**

The young girl simply looked up at her older friend and smiled, not sure how else to answer. No one had ever asked her what she wanted to do they always just told her what she was going to do. She had been expecting Kathryn to do the same.

Kathryn lowered herself until she was at eye level with her young charge and asked, "**come on now, there must be something you wanna do right? Somewhere you want to go?"**

Annika thought about it, there was one place she'd heard of but had never been to, her parents were always too busy and they never trusted anyone else with her. Displaying a grasp of the English language that other children her age could never claim, Annika said, "**can we go to a park Miss Kathryn?"** She was fully expecting Kathryn to say no but she'd asked anyway.

Kathryn realized how unnatural it felt for a 4 year old to be calling her Miss anything so she said, "**Annika, why don't you call me Katie? And yes, we can go to the park. Come on."**

Annika smiled brightly, she'd call her anything she wanted her to if it meant she could finally go to a park.

The rest of the day was spent playing on the swings and slides in the park. Annika had never had this much fun in her entire life. By the time the sun went down, Annika was sure she'd finally found a friend.

Kathryn had played with the abandon usually found in four year olds. Being Annika's only friend, Kathryn had gotten right down to her level and played with her new friend. Most babysitters would sit on a bench while their charge played but, not Kathryn. Something about Annika brought out the child in the normally serious 18 year old Starfleet Cadet.

Once the sun started to set, Kathryn told Annika it was time to go home. Though reluctant to leave the park, Annika soon brightened when Kathryn promised they could visit it again before the weekend was over. Heading home, Kathryn asked Annika what she wanted for dinner.

"**Katie can we have McDonalds'?"** The fast food restaurant had previously been forbidden by Annika's parents who were adamant vegetarians. However, Annika's mother had given Kathryn permission to let Annika have anything she wanted...within reason.

Kathryn smiled down at the young girl, who had obviously read her mind since she was craving a Big Mac and fries. "**You got it kiddo, let's swing by there then take it home and watch a movie ok?"**

Overjoyed, Annika simply nodded and smiled. Kathryn and Annika spent that evening in Kathryn's private sitting room watching old movies from the 20th and 21st centuries... mainly Disney movies in deference to Annika's age, and of course Kathryn's secret preference to animated, musical movies. It was one of the happiest nights either girl could remember having in a long time.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three **

By the time Sunday evening rolled around, Kathryn and Annika had formed a strong bond. When Erin Hansen brought Annika home that night after she and her husband returned from their mission she noticed that Annika was different. No longer was she painfully shy or quiet. She'd learned how to vocalize her wants and needs while still maintaining a respectful and obedient tone of voice. In addition, Annika smiled more and whenever Kathryn's name was mentioned after that weekend, the little girl's eyes would light up and the smile she wore was hard to wipe off.

Kathryn, too, experienced a noticeable change. She was still focused on her goals in regards to Starfleet but she now knew the importance of making time for her new friend. Annika seemed to bring out the best in Kathryn and it didn't go unnoticed by her teachers, her father and even her friends.

Over the months following their first weekend together, Kathryn and Annika spent a lot of time together. Often, the Hansens were required to go on short term missions which meant either take Annika with them (to sometimes dangerous posts) or leave her in the care of her favorite (and only) babysitter, Kathryn. It was no contest. Annika, smarter than most girls her age stated clearly and vehemently that she preferred to stay with Kathryn. When Kathryn offered no objection and had actually volunteered to look after Annika, the Hansens agreed and so began a mutually beneficial arrangement concerning Annika's safety. Erin Hansen soon came to realize that Kathryn was quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to her daughter.

Under the attention of the Starfleet cadet, Annika had grown bolder, happier and more like a child than the premature adult she'd been in danger of becoming. Before Kathryn, Annika was 4 going on 40 but after Kathryn became a part of her life, the young girl finally learned how to truly be a kid. In an interesting twist, Annika's advanced intelligence enabled her to assist Kathryn with her class work, while Annika's young age brought out the kid in Kathryn.

Two years passed and the friendship between the girls grew stronger despite the huge gap in their ages. Because of Annika's advanced intelligence and maturity, they were able to have long talks about all sorts of topics ranging from the basics of an old 20th century game called Monopoly to the complexities of Temporal Mechanics.

Then came the event that would change everything between them.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four **

Classes for the day had ended three hours ago and almost everyone else had left the building. Third year Starfleet Academy cadet Kathryn Janeway was sitting in a chair outside of Admiral Owen's office waiting to be called inside.

As a third year, she was eligible for a two week training mission during her upcoming Spring break. Kathryn had put in for it hoping to get it but also insisting to her father that he not use his influence to help her. She'd wanted to be selected for the mission on her own merits.

A week ago, her father had told her that, barring any unforeseen emergencies, the Hansens would not be sent away during her break. It was the Admiral's way of ensuring his daughter would apply for the training mission. It was based on merit and looked good on a cadet's permanent record. Cadets who'd previously been chosen for these training missions often went on to command their own ships or to be Chief Officers on starships. The Admiral had hoped that, after she got a taste of space travel Kathryn would switch her focus from planet-bound scientific work to a command track.

"**Cadet Janeway?"** The woman who was Admiral Owen's secretary called out her name to get her attention.

Kathryn stood from her chair, her posture ramrod straight. "**Ma'am?"**

"**The Admiral will see you now Cadet."** Miss Daniels gave the obviously nervous though trying to hide it cadet a small smile. She had seen many cadets going through her office to see the Admiral and they all had the same look on their face. Nervous under the surface but the picture of calm otherwise. Some cadets though hid the nerves better than others. Cadet Janeway hid it well but it was still visible. After her many years as Admiral Owen's secretary though, no cadet could hide the nerves completely. For that matter, there were very few officers who could hide it.

Kathryn gave a small nod before entering the Admiral's office. Her nerves were threatening to make her lunch repeat itself. However, she was Kathryn Janeway, daughter of decorated Admiral Edward Janeway, she knew that carried certain expectations and she intended to live up to them...one way or another.

_Twenty minutes later..._

Kathryn left Admiral Owen's office in a state of semi shock. Not only did she get the training mission assignment, thanks to her grades (helped along by her "tutor" Annika) Kathryn had been given the First Officer's Chair. It was the highest rank a Cadet could achieve on a training mission. The Captain's chair always being filled by a real Captain who acted as Commanding Officer as well as training Instructor. Captain Hiro Sulu was going to be the Instructor on the mission.

Captain Sulu was a highly decorated Officer who not only had an illustrious Starfleet career, he had a legendary pedigree as the grandson of Captain Hikaru Sulu. The Captain had been a helmsman on the USS Enterprise. Even Kathryn was intimidated a little bit by the prospect of working under him.

Kathryn headed back to her house in a daze. This was her big chance... to prove to her father that she was capable of switching her major from Warp Core Mechanics to Starship Command. Kathryn knew her father was disappointed that she hadn't originally gone into Starship Command but her aptitude placement tests upon entering Starfleet had placed her in the Engineering program. She'd had to wait a year before she was eligible to change her major. By the time she was eligible for the change, she'd really started to like Engineering, however, now that she'd gotten the First Officer post on the training mission, Kathryn was excited at trying her hand at command... maybe she'd find out that command suited her better than Engineering, perhaps not.

Once at home, Kathryn went to her room to process her new information. Later that evening Annika was coming over so her parents could go out for dinner. Kathryn always loved spending evenings with her young friend. She helped fill the gap left behind by her sister Phoebe when she'd decided to stay in Indiana with their mother. Her parents loved each other immensely and nothing could ever change that but Gretchen Janeway had never felt comfortable being too close to Starfleet Headquarters. So the arrangement had been made that Edward would spend weekends and vacations in Indiana with his wife and the rest of the time in San Francisco attending to his duties as an Admiral and keeping an eye on his daughter.

Two hours before Annika was due to arrive Kathryn began getting things ready, the movies were stacked next to the viewscreen, the popcorn and sodas were programmed into the replicator waiting to be called up when needed. By the time Annika had been dropped off, her father had gone up to his private rooms to work and stay out the girls' way as they hung out together.

_Later that night..._

Annika had been granted permission to spend the night since her parents would be out late. When it was time for bed, Kathryn helped Annika get ready then they camped out in her sitting room in sleeping bags having an old fashioned camp out. They could've used the built in holosuite that her father, as Admiral, had installed in the house to make it really authentic. Programming a forest and a campfire was easy enough but the little girl had expressed fear at the thought of it so Kathryn had suggested they camp out in the sitting room.

Camping out had been so much fun that neither girl ever wanted it to end. In the morning Annika shyly asked, "**Katie, can we do this again?"**

Kathryn smiled, "**sure we can kiddo. But not until I get back from my break ok?"**

"**Ok, I can wait."** Once again Annika displayed a maturity beyond her years, knowing that agreeing to wait would garner her more approval from her older friend than an impatient tantrum would.

Kathryn smiled, already planning on ways to get Annika to agree to the holosuite. Then she thought of a way, "**Annika, how about while you're waiting for me to get back, you try to use the holosuite here? I can ask my father to give you permission. That way when I get back we can go on a real camping trip, what do you say?"**

Annika thought about her friend's suggestion. She knew Katie had been disappointed when she'd had to skip the 'real' experience of the holosuite's forest. In her desire to make her friend happy, Annika agreed to give it a try.

_A week later..._

Kathryn had said her goodbyes to her father and the Hansens and boarded the training vessel that would be her home for the next two weeks. An excitement took her over as she settled into her quarters, right next to Captain Sulu's as befitted her status as First Officer.

Everything about this mission would be authentic. From the uniforms to the chain of command to the actual mission. Starfleet always issued an official command mission to be carried out by the Cadets aboard the training vessel. This time was no different.

"_**Attention: all senior staff to report to the conference room immediately."**_

The ship-wide announcement was issued in the unmistakable tones of Captain Sulu. Kathryn had heard his voice many times in the week since she'd gotten the training mission assignment. As his First Officer it was necessary for her to meet with the Captain as they reviewed protocol and established the essential level of trust and loyalty needed to avoid mutiny by the crew. Starfleet had learned early on that without the trust and loyalty of the First Officer, chances of a crew mutiny increased dramatically.

Usually, a Captain got to select his or her crew, almost always placing a trusted friend in the First Officer's place. But in the instances where that wasn't possible, such as training missions, the Captain learns early on that establishing that trust and loyalty works to their advantage.

So, Kathryn had spent many afternoons in meetings with Captain Sulu. Kathryn was very grateful for those meetings. They helped her get past her hero worship of Captain Sulu and see him as just another person.

Kathryn walked into the conference room and took her chair to the right of Captain Sulu as the other senior staff filed into the room. Kathryn took a moment to look over the other cadets that made up the Senior Staff, and realized that she was among the top cadets at the academy. Only the best got picked for these training missions and it made Kathryn proud to know she was among this group.

"**Hello to all of you."** Captain Sulu began once the senior staff had filed into the conference room and taken their seats. "**I would like to welcome you all to the **_**USS Trainer I**_**. This ship is one of three specially designed for these training missions. For the next two weeks, we will be in orbit around Neptune performing scans of the atmosphere and retrieving data. The goal of this mission is two fold. First and foremost, this mission is designed to teach and test all of you to...weed out those who might not be suitable for deep space travel. These training missions are Starfleet's way of 'shaking the pail' so to speak to see which cream rises to the top. We will also be in competition with the other two training vessels, **_**Trainer II**_** and **_**Trainer III**_**. They will be in orbit around other planets within our solar system. The other goal of our mission is to promote teamwork as well as see if we can find out anything new about this planet. The majority of the data we will retrieve will no doubt already be in our data banks at Starfleet. However, considering the ever-changing conditions involved in the universe, there might actually be something new to learn. Take a look around at your fellow crewmembers, they will be your support system. You will all work as a team to complete the mission."** Captain Sulu paused there to let his senior staff absorb this new information.

There was silence in the room as the cadets processed the information, letting it sink in that they would be working together, not against each other.

The cadet assigned to be Chief Engineer spoke up, "**Sir, does this mean that there are no other crew members for this entire ship?"**

Captain Sulu smiled, "**that's correct Cadet. This ship as well as the other training vessels are small enough to only need a limited crew but also large enough to simulate a full sized starship."**

"**If this is possible why not make all of Starfleet's vessels of this size?"** The Chief Engineer asked again, curious.

Captain Sulu knew that most captains would get annoyed at this point with all the questions but, being one of three Captains permanently assigned to training ships, he knew that as well as being a mission it was also designed to be a learning experience. So he had learned to have patience with his cadets.

"**It was proposed but soon rejected when it became clear that for deep space long term missions it would be helpful to be able to sustain a larger crew complement, to rotate the shifts. The only reason the trainers are this size is to maintain the exclusivity of the training missions, if the trainers were the size of the galaxy class ships we'd need too many cadets. In other words, not just anyone can get on these trainer ships."**

The Chief Engineer nodded with a smile in acknowledgement of the more than adequate answer to her question.

"**And now if there are no further questions I'll begin the introductions and the one and only time I will take attendance."** Captain Sulu smiled then. Knowing that taking attendance would serve to remind everyone that this was still a gradable assignment. "**Serving as Chief of Security is Cadet Elizabeth Wildman."**

"**Aye Sir, here."** Cadet Wildman answered in acknowledgement.

"**As Chief Engineer we have Cadet Barbara Kyle."**

"**Present Sir."** Cadet Kyle answered, smiling at her fellow crewmembers.

"**Chief Operations Officer will be Cadet Ioannis Mercado."**

"**Here Sir."** Cadet Mercado was a second year cadet, the only one accepted into the training programs based on merit. Cadet Mercado had finished first in his class his first year and was currently holding the number one position this year. Of course, it also didn't hurt that the Mercado name was almost as famous and influential at Starfleet as the Janeway name.

"**Our Chief Medical Officer, Medic Cadet Harold Carroll."**

"**Here Sir."**

"**Chief Conn Officer is Jeff Sterling."**

"**Here, Sir."**

"**And last but not least, First Officer Kathryn Janeway."**

"**Here Sir."** Kathryn smiled, knowing that Captain Sulu was getting to the best part.

Captain Sulu paused for a moment to let everyone look around and put names and ranks to the faces they would soon get to know very well. In a rare coincidence, this was the first training crew that consisted of all humans. Usually, Captain Sulu had a Vulcan or a Klingon or even the very rare Cardassian, but this rotation was all human.

"**My name is Captain Hiro Sulu of the Starship **_**Trainer I**_**. I will not only be your commanding officer for the next two weeks but I will also be your instructor. And that means that this entire assignment will be evaluated and graded at the conclusion of our mission. Any questions?"**

The conference room fell silent as the cadets who now made up the senior staff of Trainer I processed the information. Each cadet looked around to see if any of their crewmembers would ask any questions.

Since no one spoke up Captain Sulu dismissed them to their stations to prepare for take off. The senior staff filed silently out of the conference room and took their assigned stations on the bridge, in engineering and sickbay. Within the hour they were out of Earth's orbit and heading to Neptune.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five **

The sky was bright blue, the temperature was moderately warm and even a bird sang in the distance. Annika Hansen took it all in but felt nothing but loss. Thanks to Kathryn's conversation with Admiral Janeway, Annika had been given permission to use the holosuite in the Janeway house for a few hours every day. With help from her mother Annika had designed the program she was currently running. In it, she stood in the middle of a grassy field under a bright yellow sun waiting. What her mother didn't know was that Annika had made one addition to the program after her first time using it. The program had been expanded to include a hologram version of her friend Kathryn. Annika had found that she desperately missed her older friend and that by interacting with the hologram of Katie the loneliness she felt without her friend was lessened. Another feature she'd added was an older version of herself, to see if she'd ever be as pretty as her friend. The holograms interacted with each other much the same as the real Annika and Kathryn did, as best friends. Annika had yet to program the simulation for nighttime. Though she knew that she would have to before Kathryn returned if she wanted to show her older friend that she was no longer afraid of outdoor overnight camping, Annika was still reluctant to change the setting from safe daytime to nighttime.

"**Warning: holosuite time will expire in ten minutes."** The female computerized voice reminded Annika that her time was almost up.

Since she only had ten minutes left, Annika decided to try the nighttime version.

"**Computer, alter environmental parameters to match twilight."** Annika instructed the computer, noticing the changes immediately as the sunlight faded to twilight. It was that time of night just after the sun sets where the darkness isn't total but is dark enough to be considered nighttime. Annika looked around and realized something was missing. "**Computer, activate the Kathryn hologram."**

The hologram of her friend Kathryn appeared and when their eyes met, both girls smiled. Annika always smiled when she saw Kathryn, whether it was in person or on the holosuite, the sight of her older, prettier friend always made her happy. Annika was too young to truly know what that meant but she did know that she liked the happy feeling she got when she was around her friend.

In the twilight of the simulation, Annika started to get a little scared until she looked again at the Kathryn hologram, who was smiling at her.

"**Warning: holosuite time will expire in five minutes."**

Annika looked around for a few minutes before she ended the program and walked out of the holosuite. Annika turned to the activation console next to the door of the holosuite and removed the memory bar from its slot. The memory bar held the program and all the additions she'd made since Kathryn left. Annika always made sure to take the memory bar with her so that no one else would know about the additions she had made to the program...mainly her Kathryn hologram and the hologram of an older version of herself. Annika had been around grown ups long enough to know that most adults would misinterpret her motives regarding the holograms so she kept them to herself.

Annika left the Janeway house and headed to her own house, knowing that her parents were still in their basement lab working on their experiments. Her parents had recently taken an intense interest in a species known as The Borg. They had gathered all the known data on The Borg and then locked themselves up in their lab to test their hypotheses. Their research was only ever interrupted by two things; Starfleet missions and dinner with Annika. But even dinner was a brief affair as each parent was eager to return to the lab.

Annika walked into her house and went to the door of the basement and opened it to greet her parents."**Mama, papa, I'm home now!"**

Vague replies met her announcement and Annika knew that was the best she was going to get out of them for the next four hours until dinnertime. Annika filled her time by reading the novels that Kathryn had loaned her. Kathryn had managed to replicate actual books from the 20th and 21st centuries that she thought Annika might like too. Even at six years old, Annika could read on a high school level, such was the extent of her intelligence. Annika settled on the couch in the living room and continued reading her book _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_. Kathryn had told her that it was the second in a series of seven books written in the 21st Century. Annika had liked the story's plot of magic and mystical happenings. She especially liked the cover art the book boasted. Kathryn had promised that once Annika had read all seven books, they would sit down and watch the seven movies that were made from them. Kathryn had explained that it was common back then to make movies out of books. Annika didn't understand why anyone would watch a movie about a book they'd already read but she wasn't going to object to watching movies with her friend. They were her favorite times. Kathryn always made her feel like she wasn't just a little kid. She made her feel like an equal and Annika really liked that a lot.

Dinnertime came just as Annika finished her book. Her parents came up from their lab and her mother replicated two large pizzas with everyone's favorite toppings and they all ate together with Annika telling her parents all about her day and trying not to notice their eyes wandering to the clock on the wall behind her. Her parents were always looking at the clock and Annika had learned young not to expect them to suddenly change.

When dinner was done, her parents kissed her goodnight and headed back to their lab. Annika now had one more hour before her bedtime and she spent that time watching television. Not that there was a lot on television in this era of interactive holoshows but there were a few channels that still broadcast old shows from the 20th and 21st centuries. Annika had really started to like certain shows that were aired after dinner.

Despite only having an hour before bedtime, her parents wouldn't know if she stayed up later. Annika usually stayed up an extra hour to see her favorite shows. Her parents never left their lab until midnight, and that gave Annika more than enough time to do whatever she wanted to.

That night, Annika stayed up an extra hour then went to bed. She placed the memory bar next to her bed on the nightstand and smiled as she thought of her best friend. Kathryn had been gone a week, which meant that she'd be back in a week. It was something for the lonely little girl to look forward to, and for now that was enough to make her smile.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six **

_Starfleet Mission Control Headquarters: Admiral Jensen's Office_

Erin and Magnus Hansen sat outside the Admiral's office waiting to be seen. They had been summoned that morning to the Admiral's office on official business. Despite their growing ambivalence towards Starfleet, they knew they were obligated to comply.

Annika was in school so Erin wasn't concerned about leaving her alone while they answered the Admiral's summons.

"**The Admiral will see you now.",** Admiral Jensen's secretary, Lindsey Daimler addressed them.

Erin and Magnus stood and walked into the Admiral's office. The Hansens walked into the office and stood at attention waiting to be acknowledged.

Admiral Diana Jensen looked up as the Hansens walked in and tried not to smile. She didn't know the Hansens very well but she knew their daughter. Annika Hansen, in the company of her friend and babysitter Kathryn Janeway, had been to the Admiral's house a few times to play with her grandchildren. Admiral Jensen hated what she was being forced to do but there really was no other option, like those under her command, she too had to follow orders.

"**Mr. and Mrs. Hansen, please be seated."**

The Hansens sat down in the chairs in front of the Admiral's desk and waited for the Admiral to enlighten them as to the reason they were there.

Admiral Jensen wondered where to begin. "**The Federation Council has reviewed your proposal regarding the Borg and after much deliberation they have decided that more information is needed on this species. Therefore, the Council has recommended to Starfleet that a reconnaissance mission be undertaken to gather more data. To this effect, Starfleet has determined that the mission will be undertaken by the two of you. Tomorrow at 0700 hours you will report to the shipyard where you will be shown to the Science Class vessel **_**The Raven**_**. You will take this vessel to the edges of the Alpha Quadrant and gather what data you can on the Borg."**

"**Yes Admiral. If I may though, why the edge of the Alpha Quadrant?"** Magnus Hansen spoke up.

"**Preliminary scans of the area show activity in that area that matches the Borg signatures first recorded by Captain Picard during his encounter with the Borg years ago. The presence of these signatures there now indicate Borg activity in that area. We are sending the two of you there because of your recent expertise on the Borg."**

The Hansens sat in silence as they absorbed the new information. Magnus again spoke up, "**thank you Admiral Jensen, we will not let you down."**

"**Yes I know you won't. Well, unless you have any other questions, a briefing package will be delivered to your house tonight and you will be expected to report to the shipyard docking station at 0700 hours tomorrow. Dismissed."**

The Hansens nodded silently before they stood and left the office. They headed for their house in silence, each thinking about different things. Upon reaching their house, Erin went to the kitchen replicator and ordered a pot of coffee. The Hansens then sat at the kitchen table to think and talk.

"**Erin, do you know what this means?"**

"**Of course I know Magnus this means we can finally put into practice our theories regarding the Borg. This is a huge opportunity."**

"**Yes it does. It also means we can finally take Annika with us and break from Starfleet altogether. We can take the Raven and just vanish."**

"**Magnus what are you talking about?"**

"**Erin, you know and I know that we are not cut out for Starfleet life with its rules and regulations and that damned Prime Directive. This is our best chance at leaving this all behind and starting over somewhere away from Starfleet. What do you say?"**

Erin Hansen thought about what her husband was proposing. It made more and more sense to her but she also didn't want to take Annika away from Kathryn. The young Starfleet cadet had been very good to her daughter and she knew this would devastate Annika. But she also knew that staying on Earth wasn't possible anymore... not when Magnus got the idea in his head. Plus they were in serious debt and escape seemed the best option. Only their civilian posts at Starfleet had kept the creditors at bay this long.

"**Ok Magnus. Sounds like our only option. Let's do it but, let's not tell Annika it is for good. Let's let her believe we'll be returning ok?"**

"**Ok but why?"**

"**Kathryn."** Erin needed to say no more. Magnus knew how much his daughter had come to care about Admiral Janeway's daughter and he was sorry to have to do this to Annika but he could see no other alternative. Not only were they in debt but their research on the Borg would never be put into practice here on Earth. They had to go where there were Borg. Decision made, the Hansens proceeded to pack as much as they could without making it seem like they were packing it all up.

Annika came home that day to find her parents sitting in the living room. That right there was enough to set off warning bells in the little girl's head. But when she heard what they had to tell her, she instinctively knew that this trip would be forever. She wasn't going to be seeing Kathryn again.

That night after her parents went to bed, Annika took her memory card and made a copy of it. Annika had added a subroutine to the copy that told Kathryn how she felt and how sorry she was that her parents were making her leave with them. She also added a new subroutine, something to let her friend know how she felt and how she wanted their future to be.

The next day before her parents took her to the ship, Annika mailed that copy to Kathryn's house, hoping that when Kathryn returned she'd find it and play it.

Magnus, Erin and Annika Hansen took off that morning in a small starship named The Raven and headed for the outer reaches of the Alpha Quadrant. Annika knew that this trip change her life forever.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven **

Starfleet Cadet Kathryn Janeway walked into her house and dropped her bag right in the entry hall. It was good to be home. The training mission was a great experience but nothing beat being home. Kathryn had spent the two weeks doing her job admirably during the day but at night she thought about her friend, Annika and missed her a lot. After the final debriefing, which counted as the final exam of sorts for the training mission, Kathryn had rushed home as fast as she could, hoping to grab a quick shower before calling Annika's house to say hello to her friend.

When Kathryn finally made that phone call, the line was disconnected. Puzzled, Kathryn called her father hoping for an explanation. What he told her made her blood run cold.

The Hansens, with Annika, had gone on a top secret mission for Starfleet concerning the Borg. Two days before the training mission had ended, Starfleet lost communication with their vessel. A small fleet of ships in the area were directed to the last known location of the ship and long range scans showed only a few Borg warp signatures and nothing of the Raven.

A week went by with ships still scanning that area and nothing had turned up. After the 8th day, Starfleet declared the Hansens missing in action.

Kathryn was inconsolable. She'd found the memory card that Annika had mailed her and she'd played it. She'd been stunned to see not only herself but a 6 year old Annika and a 20 year old Annika. It was the 6 year old version of her friend that delivered the goodbye message. The older version of her friend was simply stunning, and as Kathryn watched, the program ran as intended after the goodbye message.

The hologram of Kathryn and the older Annika talked and smiled a lot. Kathryn watched as her hologram did something totally unexpected, she leaned over and kissed the older Annika right on the lips. The older Annika responded eagerly and Kathryn watched as the holograms just kept kissing. It didn't go further than that but it was enough to make Kathryn wonder about what her young friend had intended by sending her the memory card with this part intact.

In the end, Kathryn just shut down the program and tucked the memory card into her pocket. She'd gone upstairs to her bedroom and put the memory card into her diary. Between those pages it would remain until Kathryn was given her very own starship to command.

Through the intervening years, Kathryn managed to let go of her young friend. Finally accepting that she was most likely dead. Kathryn moved on with her life and worked her way up the ranks at Starfleet to command her own vessel, the Starship _Voyager_.

When packing her things for this mission, her first in the Captain's chair with the four gold pips, Kathryn stumbled onto her old diary. A vague memory tugged at her mind and she fanned through the pages and that was when she found the memory card again.

Almost 15 years had passed since she'd last seen it but it still looked like it had that first day. Kathryn smiled, allowing herself a moment to think about her lost friend. She would never know why she brought that program with her to Voyager but she did, right along with her DaVinci studio and her gothic holonovel.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight **

_Captain's Personal Log Stardate 50984.3_

_I was enjoying a rare moment off duty in the holodeck, conversing with the great Leonardo DaVinci, or at least my version of him, when Chakotay hailed me from Engineering. When I left the holodeck and walked to Engineering, the possibilities about what he and B'Lanna had found raced through my head. When I finally found out I was surprised to say the least. The probe we'd launched a while ago had sent back images before it had been dismantled… images of the Borg. _

_The Borg...the only species that Starfleet had ever deemed unbeatable. I have to admit I was a bit intimidated at the prospect of facing the Borg but I had known from the moment it was discovered that we'd been flung into the Delta Quadrant over three years ago that facing the Borg might be inevitable. Before long, a plan was worked out to avoid the Borg through a corridor of space we nicknamed 'the Northwest Corridor' that was empty of any Borg cubes. We thought this was our lucky day...boy were we wrong. _

_End Log. _

When it was discovered that their main hope of avoiding the Borg was home to Species 8472 (the only species known to have destroyed not just one but 15 Borg cubes with what seemed like minimal effort), Janeway started losing hope.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Janeway was sure there was an alternative to turning around and settling down on the nearest M Class planet in the Delta Quadrant. In an effort to clear her mind, Janeway revisited Master DaVinci in the holodeck. Leonardo DaVinci was an effective sounding board whenever Janeway had needed guidance in the past. It was there, in DaVinci's studio, that Janeway conceived of her…ingenious and dangerous plan—an alliance with the Borg.

Although every member of her senior staff had their doubts and reservations, they each nonetheless followed Janeway's orders without delay, each one confident in Janeway's ability to lead them safely through this regardless of how dangerous it seemed. Only Chakotay expressed his doubts and fears. He tried to convince Janeway that the Borg would betray them, that they could never be trusted. Janeway would not be budged. Janeway could tell that Chakotay was only acting out of cowardice and Janeway wasn't going to back down. As he left the conference room Janeway once again accepted that she was alone after all, not even having the full support of her first officer, a man who she'd come to think of as a friend. As Captain, Janeway was accustomed to keeping herself above her crew, to maintain the chain of command and their respect. Still, she had hoped that over the three years they'd worked together that Chakotay at least would be willing to support her in this. That was not to be and Janeway realized that maybe friendship was expecting too much of anyone on her ship.

When they'd first encountered the 15 Borg cubes that had been later destroyed by Species 8472, one of the cubes had scanned Voyager, Janeway wasn't entirely sure why but she was grateful that the cube hadn't sensed enough of a threat to stop what they'd been doing to try to assimilate the ship.

Now, as Janeway began her negotiations with a Borg cube from the Bridge of Voyager, she wondered again why this cube hadn't scanned them again.

Soon though, in the middle of her sentence really, the Borg cube had transported Janeway onto a catwalk on the cube. Janeway continued her negotiations and never backed down and the Borg soon realized that the alliance was their best hope for survival.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On board the Borg cube, Janeway and Tuvok were on their knees trying to prevent being fitted with neural transceivers. Janeway demanded in her commanding voice, "**choose a representative or the deal's off!"**

After a few moments of silence, the transceivers were removed and the nearby drones helped Janeway and Tuvok stand back up. Janeway noticed movement to their right and when she glanced that way she saw a drone being disconnected from what looked like a stasis alcove of some kind. When the drone was free it walked toward them and looked right at Janeway and with an arrogance borne of the collective stated simply, "**I speak for the Borg."**

Janeway stared at the drone, a female, for a moment, instantly captivated though not knowing why. Then, "**I'm Captain Janeway. This is Lieutenant Tuvok,"** Janeway began the introductions only to be interrupted by the drone.

"**We are aware of your designations."**

Janeway smiled and tried again, "**what's your...designation?"**

The drone, her voice flat and emotionless, replied, "**Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One. But you may call me Seven of Nine."** The whole time the drone talked she circled Janeway and Tuvok, an intimidation technique that might've worked on Ensign Kim or Lt Paris but wasn't working on Janeway and Tuvok."**You are proposing a large scale weapon. We concur."**

From there it became a small power struggle, Janeway and Tuvok proposed turning Voyager's photon torpedoes into bio molecular warheads using the modified nanoprobes, while the drone insisted that torpedoes were inefficient and long range mines were needed.

"**You're proposing a weapon of mass destruction,"** Janeway wasn't about to endanger innocent worlds just because the Borg were bent on destroying the entire species rather than intimidating the attacking force into retreat. Janeway and Tuvok both pointed out the need for quicker action than the mines would allow.

The drone looked at the Starfleet officers and said, "**you are individuals. You are small and you think in small terms."** The drone paused then, as the hive mind gave it instructions then, "**but the present situation requires that we consider your plan."** The drone walked towards the work station again to review and revise Janeway's original plan.

There was something about this drone that made Janeway curious. Something that went beyond mere curiosity over a mysterious species. She couldn't place her finger on it but as the drone worked on their plan, tapping algorithms and calculations on the touch screen, Janeway took the time to really study the drone. When Janeway realized that the drone had once been human, she felt a pang of compassion. When she could trust her voice she asked the drone, "**you're human aren't you?"**

Without inflection or emotion the drone replied, "**this body was assimilated 18 years ago. It ceased to be human at that time."**

Janeway did the math, 18 years ago she herself was only 20 years old. This drone looked extremely young to have been a drone for 18 years unless... "**I'm curious. What was your name before...?"** Before Janeway could finish her question and test her theory about this drone having been assimilated as a child the drone interrupted again.

"**Do not engage us in irrelevant discourse."**

Janeway was about to reply that it wasn't 'irrelevant' but they were hailed by Voyager. Chakotay informed her and Tuvok that Species 8472 had been using their telepathic link with Kes to possibly learn of their plan and their alliance with the Borg. Janeway could see the need to retreat in Chakotay's eyes but refused to acknowledge it. She had bigger issues to deal with than her First Officer's cowardice. Her concern for Kes, whom she cared for as a younger sister or even a surrogate daughter, temporarily overrode her curiosity about the drone.

When the bioships attacked, Janeway agreed with the drone to transport the technology and a few drones to Voyager so that the cube could be sacrificed to save Voyager. The Borg willingly put forth this suggestion, knowing the need to preserve the technology outweighed the loss of several hundred drones.

When it was all said and done, Janeway was critically injured, Chakotay assumed temporary command and the drones were in Cargo Bay 2 working on the modifications to the nanoprobes. Although the drone known as Seven of Nine was willing to keep the Borg end of their deal, Chakotay used this opportunity to impose his own agenda, looking for the slightest sign that the Borg were about to renege on their deal to make his move.

Despite Janeway's direct order to make the alliance work, Chakotay wasted very little time in declaring to the senior staff that he was ending this alliance right then. When Tuvok expressed doubts that the drone would comply with his plan, Chakotay told him to have the drone brought to the ready room.

Chakotay met with the female drone without bothering to find out her designation. Chakotay informed the drone of his decision to end the alliance and the captain's incapacity which left him in command. The drone knew that despite being in command, this human could be intimidated. He was not as brave as the Captain and the drone sensed this and used it to the advantage of the collective, to honor the original agreement.

Chakotay sent the drone back to Cargo Bay 2 but not without admitting to himself that the drone has succeeded in intimidating him. Although if asked, he'd only ever say that it was Janeway's reaction that concerned him and motivated his actions, and not the intimidation tactics of a mindless drone.

The drone, under orders from the collective took control of Voyager to take an offensive stance and open a rift into the domain of Species 8472 which was basically fluidic space. Chakotay confronted the drone and discovered that the Borg had attacked Species 8472 first and not the other way around. Before Chakotay could work up enough anger to really rip into the drone, he was summoned to sick bay by the doctor. Upon entering sickbay, Chakotay paled at the sight of Captain Janeway standing there looking quite healthy and ready to take back command of her ship. And Chakotay knew he was about to get called to the carpet about his actions. He braced himself as the doctor deactivated his program to leave him alone with Captain Janeway.

Janeway faced him, her anger held tightly in check as she asked, "**why?"**

Chakotay knew better than to pretend he didn't know what she was talking about so he began his explanation, hoping it would be enough, "**the collective ordered me to reverse course, travel 40 light-years back the way we came. What would you have done?"** Chakotay challenged, sure that she'd see his point.

"**I probably would've reversed course, maintained the alliance as long as possible."**

_She doesn't get it,_ he thought. "**In my mind the alliance was already over."**

Janeway though, saw the truth behind his actions, and her words cut him to the bone, as they were meant to. "**You never trusted me. You never believed this would work. You were just waiting for an opportunity to circumvent my orders."**

Chakotay again tried to talk his way out of the situation, "**Trust had nothing to do with it. I made a tactical decision."**

"**So did I."** Janeway replied, hoping he'd finally get it but soon realizing that hope was futile.

"**They've been taking advantage of us from day one."**

Janeway stuck to her guns though, "**we made concessions, so did they."**

Chakotay played his ace now, "**they lied. The Borg started the war with Species 8472."**

This gave Janeway pause. She really didn't like being lied to. As she thought about the current situation Chakotay continued, "**we've only got one Borg left to worry about. We should try to disable her and get back to the Delta Quadrant."**

_Her?_ Janeway thought. Chakotay kept talking as Janeway paced the sickbay, "**We might be able to duplicate the deflector protocols they used to open a singularity."**

"**No,"** Janeway began, a plan formulating in her mind as she spoke, "**I won't be caught tinkering with the deflector when these aliens attack. There's no other way out of this Chakotay. It's too late for opinions, for discussions. It's time to make the call and I'm making it. We fight the aliens in full cooperation with the Borg."**

This angered Chakotay, "**I was linked to a collective once, remember? I had a neural-transceiver embedded into my spine. I know who we're dealing with."** His tone of voice implied that Janeway had no clue who they were dealing with. "**We've got to get rid of that last Borg and take our chances alone."** The desperation in his voice was noticeable.

Janeway already knew, though, what he wouldn't allow himself to accept, "**It won't work."** Janeway knew that without the Borg's help they'd be no match for Species 8472 even with the modified nanoprobes. But she also knew that the Borg needed them as well. They already had one war to deal with, it wouldn't help matters to be fighting each other as well.

"**It will be your undoing."** Chakotay said, though it sounded as if he was repeating something he'd heard.

"**What?"**

"**Our conflicted nature. Our individuality. The drone, Seven of Nine, said that we lacked the cohesion of a collective mind."**

Janeway was never more thankful for her poker face as a part of her expressed relief that Seven of Nine was still on board. Despite the words that Chakotay repeated from the drone, Janeway knew that they didn't have to stop being individuals to win, they just needed to trust each other. Chakotay agreed and so they came up with a backup plan to safeguard the crew. A plan that, if all went according to plan, they'd never have to use but if it was used, maybe they could turn it to their advantage.

When Seven of Nine was escorted onto the bridge, Janeway set her plan in motion by letting the drone believe she'd confined Chakotay to the brig. Janeway knew that the drone would see this as a show of command, something all drones knew and responded to. Janeway gave the orders to Tuvok that made the drone believe she was getting everything she'd demanded.

"**We are in agreement."** The drone said as Janeway finished the orders.

"**Good."** Then Janeway turned to address her bridge crew. "**This is the plan. We engage the enemy here, in their space. We show them what they're up against. If they have any sense of self-preservation, they'll back off and pull their ships out of the Delta Quadrant. That's provided the weapons are effective. If they aren't,"** Janeway turned then to address the drone, "**it's been nice working with you."**

Janeway then walked to her Captain's chair, "**we've got to get this ship armed and ready in two hours. We're going to war."**

The tension on the bridge was palpable as they contemplated what both victory and defeat would mean. Janeway though was thinking about something else. She kept an eye on the drone, Seven of Nine. Somehow, keeping her in sight, kept Janeway calm...and she needed that calmness right then.

As the bridge crew prepared and reported on their readiness status, Janeway gave the order to prepare for battle. Kes was sitting in Chakotay's chair, their only means of communicating with Species 8472. It was through Kes that Janeway hoped to inform Species 8472 of their options regarding the Delta Quadrant.

When the battle was finally over and they were back in regular space, the collective ordered Seven of Nine to assimilate the Voyager crew. When Janeway realized that the double cross was in place, she contacted Chakotay and gave the order to implement their backup plan. Using a neural link with Seven of Nine, Chakotay and B'Lanna severed the drone's link to the collective. Janeway watched with regret as the drone grabbed the side of her head as the pain of the link's severance hit her.

Tuvok reported, "**her connection to the collective is severed."**

Janeway ordered her taken to sickbay before she contacted the doctor, "**Bridge to Doctor. Report."**

The Doctor, checking Chakotay with a medical tricorder answered, "**Commander Chakotay's going to be all right, although he may wake up with a bit of a headache."**

On the bridge, Janeway felt her relief then addressed her helmsman, "**Tom, plot a course out of Borg space, maximum warp."**

"**Aye ma'am."**

_Three days later..._

As the ship made its way through Borg space, Janeway left the bridge in Tuvok's command as she headed to the holodeck and Master DaVinci's studio. She decided to write out her log by hand this week.

_Captain's Log Stardate 51003.7 _

_Three days and no sign of Borg or bioships. We appear to be out of danger but the entire crew is on edge...and so am I. Not even the calm of Master DaVinci's workshop is enough to ease my mind..._

As Janeway ended her log the holodeck doors opened and Chakotay walked in. "**Am I interrupting?"**

"**Not at all. I'm just finishing up my log."**

"**The old fashioned way."**

"**I wanted to get as far away from bio-implants and fluidic space and...this seemed more human somehow."**

**"I hate to spoil the mood, but you might wanna take a look at this Engineering report. It'll take at least two weeks to remove the Borg technology from our systems. B'Lanna did note that the power couplings on Deck 8 work better with the Borg improvements."**

"**Leave them."** A pause then, "**how is out passenger?"** Again Janeway was thankful that she was able to conceal her emotions when she needed to, her interest in the drone went far beyond what it should have been.

"**The doctor said she's stabilizing. Her human cells are starting to regenerate."**

Janeway couldn't help but muse, "**I wonder what's left under all that Borg technology...if she can ever be human again."**

Chakotay was concerned at her tone and asked, "**you plan to keep her on board?"**

Janeway wasn't about to abandon the human this drone used to be and could be again, "**we pulled the plug. We're responsible for what happens to her now."**

"**She was assimilated at a very young age. The collective is all she knows. She might not want to stay." **

_And you don't want her here do you Chakotay?_ Janeway thought to herself. She knew her First Officer had no tolerance for the Borg but still, she expected him to suck it up and deal with it because there was no way she was going to return Seven of Nine to the collective if she could help it. There was a human being beneath all of that Borg technology and Janeway wasn't going to throw her back to the wolves.

"**Oh I think she might. We have something the Borg could never offer. Friendship."** Janeway faced him as she said this and Chakotay got the message.

He tried again to explain his actions, "**I want you to know that disobeying your orders was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do."**

"**I understand. And, I respect the decision you made eventhough I disagree with it. What's important is that, in the end, we got through it together. I don't ever want that to change."** Janeway was tired of rehashing what had happened the week before, she was ready to get past it.

"**Agreed."** Grateful to be off the hook, Chakotay smiled.

"**Good. Well, I think it's time we got back to the bridge."**

"**No argument there." **

Together, Janeway and Chakotay made their way to the bridge, ready for the next threat to come their way...whatever it may be.

Janeway, however, had a new mission in her head. She was determined to discover Seven of Nine's former identity and return it to her. She was determined to restore her humanity, regardless of what she had to do to achieve her goal.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine **

Captain Katherine Janeway had spent the past two days trying not to think about the drone she'd helped to sever from the Borg Collective. There was something about this drone that tugged at her mind...and her heart. Something Chakotay had said two days ago was still puzzling her.

He'd said the drone had been assimilated at a very young age, that the collective was all she knew. Something about that brought back memories for Janeway that she preferred to keep buried. She harbored no illusions about what had happened to her young friend Annika so long ago. Katherine had long ago accepted that her friend had died along with her parents on that last mission. There was never any evidence to suggest otherwise. Along with that acceptance, however, came the guilt.

Irrational as it might seem, Katherine carried a tremendous amount of guilt over what had happened…mostly because she knew that if she hadn't been away on that training mission the Hansens would have left Annika with her and her friend would still be alive. But she had been away and her friend was long dead and nothing would ever change that and that was why Katherine had buried the memories and why she preferred to keep them buried.

Now, after allowing the drone time to recover, Captain Janeway, the Doctor, and Security Chief Tuvok, made their way to Cargo Bay 2 where the drone was regenerating.

As they neared the regeneration unit that housed the drone, Janeway took the time to study her again. There was something... almost familiar about her but she couldn't be certain if it was real or just echoes from her subconscious.

"**So, how's the newest addition to our family?"** Janeway asked the Doctor, her tone as neutral as she was able to manage it.

"**At the moment, she's stable but the prognosis isn't clear,"** he began, oblivious to the internal was brewing in Janeway. "**Her human physiology had begun to assert itself—respiratory system, neurological functions, immune response. But those systems are swarming with Borg implants."** Janeway turned then from her inspection of the drone's face to the Doctor as he continued, "**there's a battle being waged inside her body between the biological and the technological and I'm not sure which is going to win."**

At the mention of the drone's own internal battle, Janeway turned again to face her. They had that in common then, only Janeway's battle was between the logic of her mind and the screams of her guilt-ridden heart. When she could trust her voice, Janeway instructed the Doctor, "**well it's time we brought her up to date. Wake her."**

The Doctor spared his Captain a brief glance before pressing a hypospray to the drone's neck. The hiss of the spray seemed to echo in the silent Cargo bay as the three Starfleet officers waited for the Borg drone to awaken.

When she did, her disdain was the first thing to be noticed. "**Captain Janeway. What have you...?"** She paused then,her one visible eye darting around the room as if searching it but Janeway knew that wasn't the case. She was listening for the voices, and finding none, "**the others; I can't hear the others. The voices are gone."**

The fear crept into her voice then, and Janeway found herself wishing she could offer some form of human comfort. Instead, "**we had to neutralize the neural-transceiver in your upper spinal column. Your link to the collective has been severed."** If it wasn't for the presence of the Doctor and Tuvok, Janeway would've softened her tone, but she couldn't afford to show weakness right then. That would come later, in the solitude of her quarters.

The drone, however, just grew angrier, "**you will return this drone to the Borg."**

"**I'm afraid I can't do that."**

"**You will return this drone to the Borg!"** Angrier, louder.

"**To do that, I'd be putting my crew at risk. I won't do that. Try to understand, you have to stay on Voyager, but I'm offering you freedom from the collective, and I promise you we'll do everything we can to help the transition,"**Janeway tried to explain but, as was becoming common, the drone interrupted her.

"**You will supply us with a subspace transmitter and leave us on the nearest planet. The Borg will come for us."**

It seemed like a reasonable request and if circumstances had been different Janeway might've agreed but not this time. "**It's too late for that. Your human cells are starting to regenerate. You won't survive without medical care."**

"**We need nothing from you. We are Borg. We are..."** the drone was cut off by a sharp pain in her head and the Doctor, a silent observer thus far, stepped forward to investigate the cause of the pain.

He was examining an implant on the right side of the drone's head when he said, "**this implant is being rejected by the tissue underneath it. It's going to have to be removed." **

"**You will suppress the human immune system."** The drone demanded, upset.

Now the Doctor was getting annoyed, "**I'm sorry, but the process has gone too far. We've got to get you to sick bay."**

Something snapped in the Borg drone's mind and she raised her voice screaming, "**No! We are Borg! We are Borg!"** As she screamed she was fighting against Tuvok's attempt to subdue her. The doctor pressed a hypospray to the drone's neck and injected a sedative into her system. Janeway watched on from a safe distance but as the drone slumped forward into Tuvok's arms she stepped closer, concern written on her face as she witnessed the drone's obvious opposition to being anything less than Borg.

Janeway ordered the Doctor and Tuvok to take the drone to sick bay. Before they left she instructed the Doctor, "**Doctor, please send the profile I asked for when you return to sick bay. I wish to examine it in my ready room."**

"**Yes Captain."**

Janeway then went towards her ready room, needing time to process what had just happened as well as to review the file she'd asked the Doctor to send her. When the drone had first been severed from the collective and she'd been taken to sick bay, Janeway ordered the Doctor to run a DNA analysis of the human cells and compare it to the Starfleet DNA registry. The results of that analysis and comparison were in the file she'd asked for. Due to the events which followed the aftermath of the war with Species 8472 and the Borg, Janeway hadn't been able to review the results until then.

When Janeway had settled into her chair at her desk with her usual cup of coffee, she opened the file from the doctor on the laptop computer that rested on her desk. When she read the results, her first reaction was disbelief. "**There must've been a mistake."** She said out loud to the empty room. Janeway ran the comparison again, hoping a different result would pop up, and at the same time hoping she'd get the same answer as before. The results still came back the same.

The drone who was currently in her sick bay was none other than Annika Hansen, listed by Starfleet as missing in action with her parents, Erin and Magnus Hansen. The guilt Katherine carried around inside grew at the sight of Annika's picture in the registry. That face was how she'd always remembered her friend. The friendly smile, sparkling blue eyes.

Katherine wasn't sure which fate was worse: death or assimilation. She'd spent 18 years believing her friend had died. She'd come to terms with it and bore the guilt of her part in it. Now, she was faced with the truth; Annika was alive. Trapped underneath all those Borg implants and circuits was her old friend. Now, more than ever, Janeway's resolve to restore the drone's humanity grew stronger.

Janeway's thoughts were interrupted by the chime at her door. When she answered, Chakotay entered with the Engineering and Tactical reports. Janeway listened with one ear, her thoughts focused more on how she was going to explain about the drone's identity.

Chakotay gave her the opening she needed soon enough, "**having half our propulsion system overrun by Borg implants doesn't make repairs any easier."**

Janeway glanced at the screen with Annika's face smiling at her before looking back at Chakotay and saying, "**Seven of Nine could help us with that."** Janeway was glad at that moment that Annika's Borg designation rolled so easily off her tongue. She'd decided to pretend not to know more than what was written in the registry about Annika, for the time being. Her trust in Chakotay was still tenuous after the events surrounding the battle with Species 8472...especially now that she realized that if Seven of Nine had not been the Jefferies Tube with something to hold on to when he'd decompressed the Cargo Bay, Janeway would've lost Annika again and that angered her.

"**That might be true, if she were willing but she's not in the most cooperative mood, is she?"**

"**That could change."** Janeway's cryptic response intrigued Chakotay but before he could ask how, Janeway continued, "**I just have to reach her somehow."** Janeway wasn't sure at that moment if she meant reaching Seven of Nine to gain her cooperation or reaching Annika to restore her memories and get her friend back. In the end though, the results could be the same. Janeway turned the laptop to face Chakotay so he too could see what the registry said. "**Annika Hansen."**

That caught Chakotay's attention, "**our Borg?"**

Janeway resisted the urge to correct his use of the word 'our', but she resisted and instead smiled. Here was where she'd need to fudge the lines between what she knew and what the registry said. It was obvious, given her knowledge of what had really happened, that Starfleet had altered the official record. For their own nebulous reasons, the brass at Starfleet Headquarters decided to disavow the Hansens.

"**It took some digging through the Federation database, but I managed to find a single entry in the records of Deep Space 4. Her parents were...unconventional."** Janeway left out the part about the DNA match and how this one entry had been buried under virtual mountains of tedious personnel reports at a space station that was five light years away from the original mission flight path that she'd managed to trick her father into telling her. The Hansens shouldn't have even been anywhere near Deep Space 4. It was obvious someone didn't want the records of the Hansens to be found. Not that there was much cause to worry about anyone looking.

Janeway stood as she fed Chakotay the same line of BS that the records had tried to feed her, even if she'd known the truth. "**they fancied themselves explorers, but wanted nothing to do with Starfleet or the Federation."** By now, Janeway was standing next to Chakotay's chair, her eyes fixed on Annika's picture. "**their names were last recorded at a remote outpost in the Omega Sector,"**_another red herring in the path_ "**They refused to file a flight plan. Apparently, they aimed their small ship toward the Delta Quadrant and were never heard from again."** There was an undertone of anger in her voice that Chakotay either didn't notice or chose to ignore.

"**For all we know, Annika and her parents were the first humans the Borg ever assimilated."**

Janeway considered that as she paced the ready room. "**From what she's told me,"**_and my own memories_ "**that was almost 20 years ago."**_18 to be exact but who's counting?_ Janeway's thoughts echoed in her head.

"**So she was raised by the Borg. It's the only life she's ever really known."**

_Not the only life,_ Janeway thought, _Annika remembers me, I know she does, I just have to reach her and trigger those memories somehow. _

"**If you were thinking about bringing her into the fold, that might not be possible."** Chakotay was still against keeping that drone on board, regardless of this new information.

Janeway though, was more determined than ever to keep Annika on board. She whirled to face her First Officer, "**What's the alternative, toss her back to the wolves?"** There was no mistaking the emotion that crept into her voice, no matter how faint it might have been.

Before Janeway could continue, the Doctor summoned her to Sick Bay. Janeway left her ready room and left Chakotay on the bridge as she headed for Sick Bay. The Doctor mentioned a problem and Janeway could only hope that Seven of Nine was okay.

Janeway entered sick bay and walked over to the Doctor, ignoring the security officer in the room, her eyes never left the unconscious form of her former friend. "**Report."**

The Doctor explained that because her human physiology was getting more aggressive in asserting itself the only option was to remove the Borg implants. As Janeway listened, her heart ached at the thought of her young friend going through what must've been a painful procedure to become Borg. Despite everything though, she knew Seven of Nine would never opt to remove her Borg implants. But if they weren't removed, she would die and Janeway would never allow that to happen so, "**she may have been raised by Borg, raised to think like a Borg, but she's with us now and underneath all that technology she is a human being—whether she's ready to accept that or not. And until she is ready, someone has to make the decisions for her,"** _and as her friend, and the Captain, that's going to be me._"**proceed with the surgery."**

"**Aye Captain."**

Janeway left then, to seek the solace of her quarters for a few moments so she could prepare herself for the long road ahead of her. The long road that led to Seven of Nine's acceptance of her former identity as Annika Hansen and all the memories that went with that life she'd lost so long ago.

TBC...


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten **

Somedays it just didn't pay to get out of bed. Captain Janeway was learning that today was one of those days. She'd already had to deal with Kes's increased telepathic abilities which threatened Voyager's own molecular stability, and an attempt by Seven of Nine to contact the Borg collective which forced her to confine Seven of Nine to the Brig. The usual ship's business seemed to take a back seat though, to these problems which forced Janeway to rely more on her First Officer than she would've liked given the lingering trust issues she had concerning Chakotay.

Everytime Seven of Nine spoke of her desire to return to the Borg, Janeway's heart broke a little bit more. When Janeway looked at Seven of Nine she didn't see a former Borg drone, she saw her friend, Annika. She saw the fear that lay under the surface of Seven of Nine's anger and it made her heart ache.

It hadn't been easy to see her young friend in that cell in the Brig behind the force field. It had damn near broken her heart all over again but she'd hidden the pain as best she could. If Annika had been herself she'd have seen right through Janeway's poker face...she always could, even at six years old.

Now, Janeway had been called back to the Brig where Seven of Nine was still being held. As Janeway walked into the room which held the cell, she heard Seven of Nine muttering the word 'one' over and over again to herself.

Janeway stepped right up to the force field and waited as Seven of Nine noticed her presence and turned only her head in acknowledgement.

"**My designation is Seven of Nine,"** her voice was tinged with sadness and it sounded as if she was holding back tears,"**but the others are gone. Designations are no longer relevant. I am...one."**

Janeway's heart ached again at the loneliness and sadness she heard and replied, "**yes you are."**

"**But I cannot function this way—alone."** Despite the brief surge of anger, sadness still leaked into her voice as it seemed that Seven of Nine was losing her battle with the tears.

"**You are not alone."**_Annika_ "**I'm willing to help you."**_Please, let me._ Janeway's inner voice shouted in her head…called out for Annika in silent supplication.

Seven of Nine turned her head to look at Janeway with her human eye."**If that is true you won't do this to me. Take me back to my own kind."**

Janeway was running out of ways to reach through the Borg mentality."**You are with your own kind—humans."** _With me...Katie._

"**I don't remember being human. I don't know what it is to be human."** Every word just strengthened Janeway's resolve. _I'll help you remember Annika, if you'll just let me._

Janeway turned then and lifted a generic data padd from the security workstation. She keyed in her access code and brought up the picture of Annika from the Registry. Janeway decided it was time to tell Seven of Nine who she had been so long ago and who she now had a chance to be again. At the same time though, she knew it was too soon to reveal their personal connection. That disclosure would have to wait until they were alone and until Seven of Nine was ready to hear it.

Janeway began keying in the access code to disable the force field, to allow herself to enter Seven of Nine's cell. When Seven of Nine saw what she was doing, fear and confusion crept back into her voice,"**what are you doing?"**

"**I'm coming in."**

Seven of Nine panicked. She didn't want Janeway close to her. There was something about her that kept throwing Seven of Nine off balance...kept making a small part of her wish to be human again. So she hardened her voice and said what she thought would keep Janeway from entering her cell, "**I'll kill you."** The Borg in her meant it but the human in her, the part drawn to Janeway, kept the Borg part in check.

Janeway saw it as an opportunity to show and build some trust so she simply said, "**I don't think you will."** She finished keying in her access code and the force field vanished. She sensed Lt. Ayala move behind her and held up her hand to keep him back, all the while never taking her eyes off of Seven of Nine's face. Not out of mistrust but because she was looking for any flicker of her friend Annika to show itself.

Janeway stepped over the threshold and walked to the opposite side of the cell, not wanting to scare or crowd Seven of Nine by moving too close. Janeway held out the padd with the image of Annika so that Seven of Nine could see it. Carefully, Janeway asked,"**do you remember her?"** _I do._ When she got no response she continued, "**her name was Annika Hansen. She was born on Stardate 25479 at the Tendara Colony. She moved to Earth four years later but, there's still a lot we don't know about her. Did she have any siblings?"** _I know she didn't though I can't reveal that._ "**Who were her friends?"** _I was her best friend long ago...I still can be today, I want to be._ "**Where did she go to school?"** _At the Children's' Academy like all the children whose parents work for Starfleet._ "**What was her favorite color?"** _Red...just one of my reasons for switching to command at the Academy._

Seven of Nine listened, allowing herself to ponder the questions for a bit, but when the lack of answers became too frustrating she lashed out in anger again, much like a person who wakes up with amnesia and is asked questions about their life that they have no answers for. "**Irrelevant!"** Seven of Nine knocked the data padd to the ground. "**Take me back to the Borg."** She demanded, angry at being expected to remember things she had no memory of and desperately craving the oblivion of the hive mind.

"**I can't do that."**_Don't you know it would kill me to let you go? To lose you again?_

Seven of Nine bent over holding her head, "**so...quiet. One voice."** The pain of it all was obvious.

"**One voice can be stronger than a thousand voices."** _You are strong too Annika, to have survived this long, I know it._ "**Your mind is independent now with its own unique identity."**

"**You are forcing that identity upon me. It's not mine!"** Stubborn, angry, desperate.

"**Oh yes it is."** _I know it is, DNA doesn't lie, besides I know you...Annika._ "**I'm just giving you back what was stolen from you,"** _from us_ "**the existence you were denied, the child who never had a chance."** _The friend I failed through my own ambition._ "**That life is yours to live now."**

"**I don't want that life."** _It's too hard, this silence...being alone in my head._

"**It's what you are. Don't resist it."** _Come back to me Annika, please._

It was too much for Seven of Nine to handle and she reacted as anyone might in that situation, she lashed out verbally and physically. "**No!"** Seven of Nine reached out to hit Janeway but missed and lost her balance, landing backwards into Janeway's arms.

Janeway took Seven of Nine's Borg enhanced body and went to the small bench in the cell and sat down behind Seven of Nine. Janeway held her as Seven of Nine came as close as she could to crying. Janeway was stunned by Seven of Nine's reaction.

Janeway sat there holding Seven of Nine until she grew tired. Seven of Nine had depleted her energy reserves and since regeneration meant leaving the Brig, Janeway convinced Seven of Nine to lie down instead and rest. It was a sign of Seven of Nine's fragility that she complied without argument. Janeway left then to regroup and to tell the Doctor to resume the extraction of the Borg implants as soon as Seven of Nine was physically ready for it. Janeway was in her ready room recording a supplemental log to clear her head when Kes called her on her COM badge and asked to see her. Janeway finished her second cup of coffee and made her way towards Kes's quarters.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Janeway didn't know what to expect but she did know that she cared about Kes in much the same way as she cared about her younger sister Phoebe. Janeway got to Kes's door and rang the chime, waiting to be allowed entry. When the permission was granted, she stepped inside and smiled at the young Ocampan.

"**You wanted to see me?"** Janeway asked as she walked to sit on the couch next to Kes.

"**I've been thinking about everything that's been going on..."** Kes's deep soothing voice helped Janeway calm her nerves about what she thought was coming next, "**and I know what I have to do. It's time for me to leave **_**Voyager**_**." **

"**Oh Kes,"** _this doesn't seem fair...I find an old friend only to lose another friend._ Janeway's thoughts echoed in her mind.

"**Something important is happening to me and I want to explore it, but I can't stay here any longer."** The words poked at Janeway's already battered heart. "**I'm a danger to all of you."**

"**We're going to get to the bottom of this,"** Janeway tried in vain to change Kes's mind. "**The Doctor's already working on a new approach...**

"**Everybody thinks that what's happening is a medical condition. That's not it at all. I'm going through a transformation. I don't know how or why but every cell in my body is telling me that I'm changing into something more."**

"**What if it's not true? What if you're simply being swept up in the excitement of what you think is happening, but it's not real? On the basis of a feeling, an intuition, you're asking me to let you go. Quite likely forever. Kes I just can't do that."** _I can't lose you now._

Janeway's words triggered something and Kes suddenly knew things that were kept in the darkest recesses of Janeway's mind. "**The Borg drone, Seven of Nine, you know who she is, you knew her when she was still human and now, you're feeling guilty over what happened to her. You take on so much responsibility and you have from a young age I know that you blame yourself for her assimilation even when it was not your fault. You don't like losing anyone that you've taken responsibility for and that you care about and that's understandable. But you don't have to worry about me anymore Captain."** A pause then to let that sink in before, "**I know she's been asking you to return her to the Borg and I know that doing so would destroy you. I also know that over the years, you've let yourself care for me as a substitute for your sister back on Earth...and I am fine with that, honored even. I know that letting me go will be hard on you and I am sorry to be the cause of that pain but, Captain, you can never lose me...not as long as you remember me."** Kes hoped that her words would help ease Janeway's conscience over her past and the choice she faced now in letting her go.

"**How do you know all that?"** Janeway asked, stunned to learn that it seemed she had no secrets from Kes anymore.

Kes smiled kindly, "**I listened to your heart. I couldn't help it Captain, your heart was screaming at me to understand your pain. And I do. I know it will be hard, but it's my decision to make—my fate. Would you really try to stop me?"**

"**No, I wouldn't. But arguing with you, even pleading with you to reconsider? Absolutely, for as long as it takes."**

Kes smiled again, "**It won't work. Look at me Captain, I'm the same Kes you've always known, even with my new knowledge about your past and your feelings. I haven't lost my judgment. I am not under some alien influence. I believe something crucial is happening to me and I want to see it through,"** Kes paused, switching topics for a moment, "**and something crucial is happening to you as well. You've been given a second chance with your old friend. You need to see it through Captain, to focus on restoring her humanity and her memories. And you need to be honest with her when the time is right about your true feelings. If I stayed, I would just be a distraction and you don't need that."**

"**You've lived most of your life here. Voyager has been your home and you've been a vital part of this family. You have never and could never be a distraction Kes."** Janeway paused as the tears she'd held back forced their way into her voice and her eyes. "**Oh, I'm going to miss you."** Janeway had finally accepted the truth about Kes's need to leave Voyager but she didn't have to like it.

Kes, sensing Janeway's vulnerability and her own, leaned over and hugged Janeway. Knowing it would be the last time she'd get the chance to, she held on tight.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once Janeway was sure Kes was on the shuttle and away from Voyager she stood on the Bridge and watched the viewscreen as the tiny shuttle moved through space. Her game face was on but inside she was falling apart.

"**Can you hail her?"**

Kes's face appeared on the view screen. Her atomic destabilization was obvious from where Janeway stood near she chair, fighting to keep her tears at bay a little while longer, at least until she could escape to her ready room.

Kes smiled, "**my gift to you Captain."** Kes's last words, directed at Janeway.

Then, a blinding white light came from the small shuttlecraft and Voyager was hurtling through space riding the shockwave from the light, reaching speeds beyond Warp 9.95, which was supposed to be Voyager's top speed. When the ship finally slowed down again, Janeway asked, curious, "**Where are we?"**

Tom Paris checked his screen then answered, "**we're nine point five thousand light years from where we just were."**

Janeway was the first to recover her voice, "**she's thrown us safely beyond Borg space. Ten years closer to home."** Janeway was both stunned and humbled by Kes's final gift for her Voyager family. Before Janeway could truly revel in the moment, the Doctor hailed her.

"**Doctor to Captain Janeway."**

"**Go ahead Doctor."**

"**Captain, may I please see you in Cargo Bay 2? There's something here I think you should see."** The Doctor was earning points in being cryptic that was for certain.

"**On my way."** Janeway nodded to Chakotay to hand him the Bridge then motioned for a junior security officer to escort her, preferring to keep Tuvok on the Bridge to keep and eye on Chakotay. Starfleet protocol stated that with very few exceptions, the Captain was to always be escorted by a security officer at all times.

Janeway wondered to herself at the Doctor's enthusiastic, smug yet cryptic tone. She knew he'd been continuing the operations on Seven of Nine but assumed he'd be in Sick Bay not Cargo bay 2. As Janeway and her escort arrived in Cargo bay 2, Janeway at first only saw the Doctor. When he led them further into the Cargo Bay, she noticed someone else. The security escort moved to stand behind the Captain, blending into the background so as not to impede the proceedings.

Seven of Nine stood with her back to the Cargo Bay doors, adjusting to her new physical appearance. As Janeway, the Doctor, and the security guard approached she half turned her head in acknowledgement of their arrival. Though the guard made himself as invisible as he could, Seven of Nine was still aware of his exact position. She listened though as the Doctor began his explanation to the Captain.

"**I've extracted 82 of the Borg hardware. The remaining bio-implants are stable and better than anything I could synthesize at such short notice."**

During his narrative, Seven of Nine kept her back to them and her head down, listening to both the Doctor's words and Janeway's breathing. Janeway just studied the hair now sitting on Seven of Nine's head. It was the exact color as the hair in the picture of Annika in the Registry.

Seven of Nine could wait no longer and turned then to face the Doctor and the Captain. "**It is acceptable."**

Only Seven of Nine noticed the quiet gasp that escaped Janeway's throat when she got her first look at Seven of Nine's new look, but she chose to ignore it right then. Janeway noted with surprise that Seven of Nine looked almost exactly like the older version of Annika Hansen that had been programmed into Annika's holoprogram by Annika herself—18 years ago when Annika was only six!

The Doctor went on, oblivious to Janeway's inner thoughts as always, "**Fashion, of course, is hardly my forte. Nevertheless, I've managed to balance functionality and aesthetics in a pleasing enough manner. I also took the liberty of stimulating your hair follicles—a vicarious experience for me as you might imagine."** Seeing he wasn't going to get the response he wanted to his sarcastic jest, the Doctor left then, leaving Janeway alone with Seven of Nine, the guard still there but largely ignored at this point.

As Janeway gazed at Seven of Nine's face, she realized why even under all the Borg technology she'd seemed familiar. The resemblance to the hologram version of a 20 year old Annika was uncanny. The main differences being the metallic implant over the artificial left eye, the small starburst implant on the right cheek near the ear, the mesh wiring on the left hand, and the air of Borg arrogance that still somehow managed to cling to Seven of Nine's features.

"**You'll have to spend a few hours each day regenerating in a Borg alcove until your human metabolism can function on its own. We'll keep one operational."**

Seven of Nine listened patiently, no expression on her face as she studied the woman standing before her. "**Understood." **

"**Let's see how things go over the next few weeks."** _Give you time to adjust before I tell you about what we shared so long ago._ "**I'll consider granting you access to the rest of the ship, once I can trust that you won't try to get us all assimilated again."**

"**It will not happen again."** Seven of Nine knew now that her fate resided here on this ship, navigating her way to her lost humanity. She was ready to begin the journey...though not without some reluctance and fear.

Janeway saw the sincerity in Seven of Nine's expression then and smiled, "**good. If you need anything,"** _even just a friend to talk to,_ "**contact me."** Janeway handed her a COM badge then turned to leave.

Seven of Nine was confused. She'd expected something else when she'd assured Captain Janeway that she would not try to contact the collective again. She'd meant every word. Watching Janeway walk away, Seven of Nine had two words flash into her mind. They made little sense at first but then they defined themselves enough for Seven of Nine to know that they came from the human she'd once been and would try to be again. Before Janeway could leave Seven of Nine spoke these words, hoping that Janeway might recognize them.

"**Katie, red."**

Janeway turned back, stunned at what she'd heard, convinced she'd heard wrong, "**what?"**

Seven of Nine continued, her explanation brief but with every bit of information she had at her disposal, "**The child you spoke of...the girl. I think she knew a girl named Katie and...her favorite color was red."**

With no more to offer, Seven of Nine walked further into the Cargo Bay. Janeway stood there, looking at Seven of Nine walk away and in her heart she knew that she had a really good chance now of getting her friend back. Hope renewed itself as her heart embraced a single thought..._Annika._

TBC...


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven **

A week has passed since Janeway heard Seven of Nine speak the name she'd gone by so long ago..._Katie_. There were only two people in her life to whom she'd granted permission to call her that, her father and Annika. Not even her two fiancés had been allowed to use that name. After Annika's disappearance, hearing the nickname became too painful. Her father must've sensed it because, after the Hansens vanished, he too stopped calling her Katie. Though he would still slip up occasionally, he tried his best to respect her silent wishes.

It had taken an out of character, violent outburst to convince Mark not to use that name. Mark had never understood her adamant dislike of the name, had assumed it was because of her father, although he considered it silly to still be so attached to that sentiment. However, after the split lip and the black eye, Mark learned not to use that name again.

Justin, sweet, loving, smart Justin, didn't need convincing. Although Katherine had never told him why, he accepted without question that the nickname was off limits. He'd always called her Katherine or Kat.

But, hearing that name again, coming from the one person she'd never thought would ever utter it again had warmed a place in Janeway's heart that had been cold for too long.

It was an uneventful, quiet week in space. Despite an overwhelming urge to, Janeway refrained from overloading Seven of Nine with information about her human identity. Janeway had never been accused of being a very patient person by anyone who knew her after she'd become an Ensign. But with Annika she'd always been patient, and she would be again.

Kes's words came back to tease her at random moments throughout that week. "_You've been given a second chance..."_ Janeway knew Kes had been right and she also knew her heart wouldn't survive if she blew her second chance because she was too impatient.

However, the jealousy she felt when Chakotay had told her that Seven of Nine has asked to see him, with a smug look on his face, told another story.

* * *

_Seven of Nine's POV_

A week spent alone, confined to this Cargo Bay, was not easy for me. Words kept flashing in my head, words I had no context for:_holodeck, Katie, red, camping, Voldemort, wizard, McDonalds, park, Anastasia, Erised._ These words mean nothing to me yet they flash through my head on a loop, as if daring me to figure out why. Two words already revealed part of their meaning to me, red and Katie. I told Captain Janeway of them a week ago but she's not come by to talk about them. It is absurd but, somehow I thought she'd be able to explain them. I realize now I was in error.

Being isolated here is a huge change from what I am accustomed to, I do not like it. The Doctor is the only person who comes to see me and he only arrives to examine me. I asked him though, how I could be allowed to help on the ship. He was silent for a while then answered that Commander Chakotay was in charge of the duty assignments. Once the Doctor left, I sent Commander Chakotay a message asking to see him. I would've preferred to speak to Captain Janeway, but it was obvious she wasn't who I needed to ask about this.

When Chakotay arrived, I made my request to help out in Engineering. He said he would do what he could. Then he left. I waited. An hour later, I was told to report to the Captain's Ready Room. A meeting with the Captain sounded... interesting given that we've not spoken in a week.

* * *

Seven of Nine entered the Captain's ready room and stood quietly. "**You sent for me captain?" **

Janeway stood on the upper level of the room. She'd been looking out at the stars, waiting for Seven of Nine's arrival and trying to prepare herself for seeing her again.

Janeway turned to face Seven of Nine as she replied, "**Yes. Seven of Nine, you told me you wouldn't make any more attempts to contact the Borg. And I want to believe that's true."** Janeway leaned on the railing separating the upper and lower parts of the room. It cost her dearly to have to question Seven of Nine's sincerity but she knew she had no other choice.

"**I assure you it is."** Seven of Nine spoke firmly, the truth of her words reflected in her tone.

"**I've decided not to post a security detail while you're in Engineering,"** it hurt Janeway to have to be this way, "**but you have to realize there are rules. You'll be expected to follow our protocols. You'll report directly to Lieutenant Torres and obey any order she gives you."**

_Any order?_ "**I understand."** There was no other answer to give.

Janeway walked to her desk as a new thought formed. She would have to be careful here. "**One more thing, your designation, 'Seven of Nine', is a bit cumbersome."** _It's a mouthful that always reminds me of what you and I lost._ "**Wouldn't you prefer to be called by your given name, Annika?"**

There was something about hearing her human name again in Janeway's voice that sent Seven of Nine's mind running in fear. Remembering was too hard right now. She clung to the familiar. "**I have been Seven of Nine for as long as I can remember."**

_There's the rub, when you do remember being Annika, what then?_ Janeway wondered, aloud she said, "**All right, but maybe we could streamline it a little."** Janeway wasn't going to let this go. There had to be a middle ground. "**How would you feel about...'Seven'?"**

Seven of Nine thought about it. Captain Janeway seemed determined to alter her designation, something about 'Seven of Nine' was bothering the Captain. She knew she wasn't ready to go by 'Annika' but she could compromise this much, after all there was little logic in being called 'Seven of Nine' when the 'nine' were no longer there. "**Imprecise...but acceptable."**

Before Janeway could respond, Tuvok called her to the bridge. Janeway walked past Seven on her way to the Bridge, unable to stop the smile from escaping as she looked at Seven. She realized that baby steps were still steps and she'd take as many as she had to, to reach her ultimate goal.

Seven watched as Captain Janeway left the room. Something about that smile unnerved her but, she was still Borg enough to hide it, though human enough to be intrigued by it as she followed the Captain onto the Bridge. Seven stood on the bridge as the view screen displayed an unusual looking alien. Seven's Borg memory recognized him as a member of Species 7924, the Caatati.

Soon after the view screen cut off, Janeway turned to face seven, "**Seven, report to Engineering and begin working with Lieutenant Torres."**

"**Yes Captain."**

Seven left the Bridge, wondering why the Captain sounded as if she were sorry about something.

* * *

In Engineering, Seven was assigned to set the parameters for a tachyon burst. She was working on that when Lieutenant Torres came to stand beside her.

Seven could sense the hostility just under the surface as she curiously asked, "**tell me something, when you hear about people like the Caatati, do you have any feelings of remorse?"**

Seven thought about it, searched her emotional sensors, then answered, "**No."**

Expecting a longer answer, B'Lanna's hostility found a crack in her curiosity and leaked out, "**that's it? Just 'no'?"**

Giving nothing away Seven asked, "**What further answer do you require?"**

"**Oh maybe some kind of acknowledgement of the billions of lives you helped destroy...a justification for what you did...maybe... a sense of guilt."** She knew she was being a bit unfair but B'Lanna didn't care. Today was one of the worst days of her life and she really didn't want the Borg in her Engine Room. B'Lanna was fishing for a fight.

"**Guilt is irrelevant."** _It solves nothing, helps no one, it is unproductive. _

"**Heartwarming."**

Seven realized if she stayed, she'd lose control of her sudden desire to snap Lieutenant Torres' neck for her attitude and that would not be a good thing, so she fell back on a neutral topic, work. "**I've set the parameters for the tachyon burst we'll need to create a transwarp conduit. It will be several hours before the main deflector can be modified. I think it would be best if I waited in my alcove."** In this instance, retreat was favorable to imprisonment in the Brig for attempted murder.

Seeing she wasn't going to get a fight out of the Borg, B'Lanna chose to get her out of Engineering instead. "**I think you're right."** The hostility was plain as day then.

Seven turned then and left Engineering, she headed for Cargo Bay 2 and when she go there she stepped into her alcove and sought the oblivion of regeneration to escape the traces of guilt she'd started to feel after her conversation with Lieutenant Torres.

* * *

Later, walking towards Engineering with Lieutenant Tom Paris, Seven couldn't help but notice that he had an air of immaturity about him that made him somewhat endearing. They had just turned a corner when Seven heard someone behind them ask, "**What species is that?"**

Seven heard Lieutenant Tuvok's deep voice reply, "**She is a human who lived as Borg."**

It was then she knew they were talking about her.

"**Borg!"** Seven turned and saw the Caatati male trying to get closer, shouting, "**where's my wife? Where are my children?"** Seven noticed Tuvok was holding the Caatati by the arm while Lieutenant Paris had gallantly stepped in front of her as if to shield her from the alien. "**What did you do with them after you took them? What did you do with my family?" **

Lieutenant Tuvok was now physically pulling the Caatati back as Lieutenant Paris pushed him towards Tuvok."**Mr. Paris, please proceed."**

Lieutenant Paris gently grabbed Seven's arm and led her back towards Engineering. The Caatati could still be heard ranting in the distance.

Tom Paris felt the need to apologize for the outburst, "**sorry about that."**

"**About what?"** Seven was genuinely confused.

"**Well the way he reacted to you."** Tom said, as if it should be obvious.

"**He didn't injure me."**

"**Good."**

Seven felt the need to clarify the situation so she stopped walking and looked Lieutenant Paris in the eye, "**there are many people on this ship who have similar feelings toward me."**

"**I'm afraid you're right. Does that bother you?"**

"**No."** It really didn't. The only person on the ship whose opinion mattered to Seven was Captain Janeway, though the reasons for that still weren't very clear.

"**Well, I'm not one of those people. We all have a past. What matters is now."**

Now, he'd lost her. "**I am uncertain what you're trying to say."**

Tom tried a more direct response, "**just that, if there's any way that I can help you adjust to your life here on Voyager, please ask me."** Contrary to how that might've sounded, Tom was only offering friendship, B'Lanna was more than enough of a handful for him.

Seven studied Lieutenant Paris' face for a moment before, "**I will remember your offer."**

Tom just nodded before he started walking again towards Engineering. Seven watched him go, thinking that Lieutenant Paris was an interesting human, before following him to Engineering.

* * *

Janeway was in her ready room following the accident in Engineering that had resulted in ejecting the Warp Core and then sending Tom and B'Lanna after it in a shuttle. Janeway was wondering what had gone wrong and also dreading the impending investigation. She was reluctant to cast doubt on Seven, convinced that any words of accusation might cause set backs in Seven's progress so far.

Janeway's thoughts naturally led to the topic that had been occupying her mind more and more these days: Annika. Not the woman she'd become but the child that called her Katie and was starting to really open up around her. Janeway often wondered how her own life might've been different if she'd been around and Annika had been left in her care. Knowing now what her fate had been, Janeway would've gladly given up the training mission to stay on Earth and spare Annika the pain of assimilation.

_But life doesn't work that way, does it?_ Janeway thought. Looking back on it all, if Annika had stayed on Earth with Janeway, Katherine would probably never have left Earth either. She would've stuck to planet-bound science and settled down on Earth, more than likely getting herself or her mother assigned as Annika's legal guardian. However, it did no one any good to dwell on what might've been when the present is all there was to work with.

When Janeway could no longer delay it, she called Seven into her ready room to question her about the accident in Engineering as per Starfleet protocol.

Janeway replicated coffee and fine china cups in an attempt to downplay the severity of what she'd have to ask Seven.

The chime on her door announced Seven's arrival and Janeway granted her access. Seven entered and walked to Janeway's desk as Janeway stood and motioned to the upper level of the room.

"**Would you like tea or coffee?"** Janeway offered, trying to be polite, and put off the conversation she knew they were going to have to have.

Seven, not sure why she had been called to Janeway's office, answered stiffly, "**I have no need to ingest liquids. I still receive energy from the Borg alcove."**

Janeway took the opening to stall, "**my understanding is that you're almost ready to begin eating food."**

Seven gave a tiny nod, "**that is what the Doctor says."** A pause then, "**Why have you asked me here?"**

_Right to the point._ Janeway explained about the investigation and asked if Seven could explain what happened. Seven explained what they had done. When Janeway asked, without looking her in the eye, "**did you at any time access deflector control?"**

Seven knew that, contrary to what she'd hoped, Janeway was just like the others on the ship. "**You believe I'm responsible for the accident, that I deliberately sabotaged the ship. You're like the others. You see me as a threat."**

The words cut right to Janeway's heart. She knew without question that she would always trust Annika unconditionally. However, Janeway was not blind to the fact that the person standing before her wasn't entirely Annika. The years spent as a Borg had altered her young friend to the point where Janeway couldn't afford to trust blindly.

"**I won't lie to you. Part of me is suspicious. We've dealt with tachyon fields before and never had this kind of problem."**

Seven felt the need to explain, "**Captain, I am unaccustomed to deception. Among the Borg it was impossible. There were no lies, no secrets, and I assure you I had nothing to do with the accident in Engineering."** Seven's voice was firm and clear in her sincerity. Janeway had no option but to believe her.

Janeway sat down on her couch and looked up at Seven and smiled, "**I believe you. Thank you."**

Caught off guard Seven could only reply, "**I am finding it a difficult challenge to integrate into this group. It is full of complex social structures that are unfamiliar to me. Compared to the Borg, this crew is inefficient, and contentious."** Seven paused to take a breath before, "**but it is capable of...surprising acts of compassion."** Seven reflected back to Lieutenant Paris' offer of assistance and Janeway's own acts of compassion when dealing with both the Caatati and herself.

Janeway smiled, "**Unexpected acts of kindness are common among our group. That's one of the ways we define ourselves."**

Seven took that in, wondering if Janeway's acts of kindness towards her were nothing more than an automatic response to a being in 'distress' or if there was something more to it. "**Is there anything more?"**

"**Yes,"** Janeway seized the opportunity to keep Seven in the room longer, "**we still have to find out what caused the tachyon leak. Tell me what you remember about the power fluctuations in the propulsion system."**

Janeway walked to her desk holding a working padd, Seven followed and they began working out what might've happened to cause the accident. Janeway smiled herself as she glanced at Seven, standing a few feet away from her desk going over the sensor logs for the accident. Oftentimes, when Janeway looked at Seven, she would see Annika standing there. Janeway wondered how long it would be before Seven's memories of being Annika were unlocked...if they ever would be.

After a few moments of working, Seven spoke, "**Captain, I believe I've found the cause of the accident,"** Seven moved closer to hand Janeway the padd she'd been working on, "**erratic fluctuations in the ship's warp power. When tachyon levels rose to a resonant frequency, core pressure increased."** Janeway stood up from her desk, studying the padd while also listening to Seven's explanation.

"**Then it was an accident."** The relief in Janeway's voice was barely perceptible but Seven heard it nonetheless. Before she could respond, however, the door chime rang and Janeway turned to have the door, "**come in."**

Chakotay entered and informed Janeway that the ship's sensors had picked up a carrier wave with a Starfleet signature. Realizing that it would be Tom and B'Lanna and that their failure to respond to hails could indicate trouble, Janeway was in the middle of giving the order to go after the signal when Tuvok called her to the bridge.

Janeway, Seven and Chakotay left the ready room and entered the Bridge. The Caatati were back in force and hailing Voyager.

"**On screen."** Janeway wondered silently what they could want now.

The Caatati they'd been speaking with came on the screen, appearing to be the same nice guy in need he'd first presented himself as, "**Hello Captain."**

"**You've brought some friends."** Janeway's irritation was barely noticeable but still there.

"**Needy friends. We're hoping you'll offer us more supplies."** The alien's tone implied that is wasn't a request per say. He'd seen an easy mark and was going to squeeze everything he could out of this ship. He also had something they'd want back.

"**I made it clear last time that we couldn't possibly provide you with enough for all your ships."** Janeway was getting sick and tired of this alien and his "needs".

"**And I had to accept that because your ship is more powerful than ours, but the situation has changed, hasn't it?"** The Caatati was playing his Ace now. "**You seem to be at a disadvantage now. We have your warp core. You can't escape. I'm hoping that will make you more generous."** The smugness of his tone was pissing Janeway off now.

"**We've given you everything we can spare. Return the core and we'll be on our way."** She was going to give this alien one last chance to be smart before she lost her control and ordered Tuvok to blow them out of the sky.

The alien didn't seem to get it, "**One of our ships might not seem threatening to you, but I assure you 27 can inflict considerable damage. We are desperate. Prepare to send us food, weapons, and your entire supply of thorium. And that Borg you're protecting—--we want her too. There are many who would enjoy a chance to repay one of them for what they did to us."**

Janeway looked over at Seven, there was no way in hell she was ever going to hand Seven over to anyone else. She'd destroy the entire remaining Caatati race before she complied with that little demand. Seven merely looked at Janeway, preparing herself for the order she was sure Janeway would give that would send her to the Caatati to meet her fate. A part of Seven would comply, if it meant that the crew of this ship was spared damage. However, a small part of her was reluctant to leave Voyager...and Captain Janeway.

Chakotay broke the silence left behind by the termination of the communication link with the Caatati. "**Our weapons are more powerful than theirs, I say we fight."**

Harry Kim spoke up, "**Maybe if we give them something."**

Janeway asked, "**like what? I can't imagine what would satisfy them now."**

Seven spoke up, knowing what needed to be done and knowing that no one else was going to suggest it, not in front of the Captain at any rate, "**I will go. They asked for me. If I surrender myself, perhaps they will let you leave."**

_Hell no... not in a million years!!_ "**That's very generous, but I will not turn you over to them."**

"**I was only offering to do what would be best for this group."**

Janeway walked closer to Seven, her mind telling her _this is Annika we can't let her go now!_ "**You're a part of this group now and we're going to protect you." **_The Caatati can't have you...not now not ever!_ Janeway turned to her Bridge crew. "**It's time to stop talking about this. Tom and B'Lanna are in trouble and we have to find them. Tuvok, what's the status of our weapons array?"** Janeway walked around Seven to face her Security and Tactical Chief.

The Vulcan, giving nothing away as usual simply stated, "**Weapons are at the ready, Captain, but our shield strength is extremely low."**

Janeway thought for a second, "**We'll have to shut down nonessential systems. Reroute power to the shields. We're going to fight."**

As Janeway walked past her, Seven offered another solution, "**That might not be necessary."** Janeway turned to look at her, "**Caatati technology is dependent on thorium isotopes. If they had enough they could become self-sustaining."**

Again, Harry Kim just had to open his mouth, "**But we don't have that much thorium to give them."**

Seven directed her comments to Captain Janeway despite Ensign Kim's statement. "**When the Borg assimilated the Caatati, the survivors lost their ability to replicate the isotopes. But I have retained that knowledge. I could design an energy matrix that would produce thorium in large quantities."**

Chakotay couldn't help but ask, "**If you've had this knowledge all along, why didn't you say so?"**

Seven paused, thinking of how to express her thoughts, "**I am not accustomed to thinking that way. Borg do not consider giving technology away, only assimilating it."**

Janeway, curious, asked, "**and what do you suppose made you consider it now?"**

That gave Seven pause. She thought about that for a bit, "**I am not certain."**

"**Maybe...it was just an unexpected act of kindness."** Janeway used the expression she'd used before in her ready room, hoping that Seven would realize the meaning behind that statement...that Seven was already becoming more and more human. "**Work with Vorik to build the energy matrix, while I convince the Caatati there's a better way out of this." **

As Janeway and Chakotay took their seats on the Bridge, Seven turned to head to Engineering, pausing before she did as the implications of Janeway's comment on unexpected acts of kindness sank in. Seven filed that bit of information away for examination at a later date.

* * *

Seven and Janeway were with the Caatati alien explaining the energy matrix and how it would help his people. Once satisfied, the Caatati began to leave the room.

"**Thank you."** Said the Caatati as he left the room.

Before he got very far Seven answered, "**you're welcome."**

The Caatati left and Seven merely looked over at Janeway. Silence reigned as the two looked at each other for a few seconds before Seven left the room. Janeway leaned on the table in front of her and just smiled. Things were looking up. Little by little Janeway saw Seven taking baby steps towards humanity, but just then, she'd seen Annika looking out at her from behind Seven's human eye. For just a brief moment, Janeway had seen a flash of the spark that had been such a part of Annika's eyes whenever they were together in the past. It had given Janeway a much needed shot of hope that her goal of bringing Annika back was attainable. Janeway allowed herself a few moments to indulge in that feeling before she got back to the task at hand, getting the Warp core back online and going after Tom and B'Lanna.

As she walked out of that room, Janeway couldn't help but smile as she thought about what it would mean to have Annika back in her life.

TBC...


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve **

Though he'd never understand why certain orders were given, Chakotay was still smart enough to know when to obey a direct order, despite what happened a few weeks ago with the Borg. So when Captain Janeway insisted on being briefed about everything concerning Seven's interactions on _Voyager_, Chakotay knew enough to keep his questions to himself and follow orders.

Which was why Janeway was currently holding in her hand a copy of the report from Chakotay about Seven's progress regarding the new Astrometrics Lab that she and Harry Kim had been assigned to design and build. Janeway smiled as she read about Seven's efficient work. She wondered if _Annika_ would've grown up to be as efficient as Seven was if she'd been able to grow up human. Janeway assumed that the efficiency most likely came from having been Borg and so realized that _Annika_ wouldn't be so efficient.

When Janeway got to the part about Ensign Kim's remark about "basic Borg-human cultural differences" and then Seven's comment about Kim's assistance in learning about the "complex social interactions" aboard _Voyager_, Janeway frowned. Something wasn't right. Some gut instinct told her that something had occurred between Seven and Ensign Kim sometime before these remarks were made to Chakotay. Something neither party had elaborated on. Janeway was suddenly determined to find out what that was.

"**Janeway to Seven of Nine."** Over the com system, Seven's full designation was required.

"**Seven of Nine here Captain. How may I assist you?"** Seven's usual even tone came over the com system and filled Janeway's ready room.

"**Seven, please report to my ready room." **

"**Aye Captain, on my way."**

The comm. Channel was closed and Janeway smiled. Anytime she got to spend time alone with Seven was another chance for her to try to bring Annika back.

A few minutes passed before the chime rang announcing her visitor. After granting access, the doors closed silently behind Seven as she walked into the room. Seven walked over to the two steps leading to the upper part of the room but she didn't step up. Standing at the base of the steps, Seven faced Janeway, who was sitting on her couch drinking a cup of coffee, and placed her hands behind her back.

"**You asked to see me Captain?"**

Janeway wished she had the nerve to ask Seven to call her Katie. Just once to hear that name again in her voice. But she knew she wouldn't—couldn't, at least not until Annika remembered.

"**Yes Seven, I wanted to ask you something."** Janeway paused, trying to figure out a way to ask her question without seeming like she was keeping tabs on Seven.

Seven merely waited patiently, curious as to what the Captain would ask her.

After a few minutes, Janeway spoke, "**tell me Seven, how's the new Astrometrics Lab coming along?"**

Seven, confused, answered, "**it is progressing at an efficient pace. Ensign Kim and I have completed the final design elements and construction is ready to commence."** A pause then, "**I reported all that to Commander Chakotay, surely he reported the progress to you."**

Janeway grinned at Seven's directness. "**Yes he did but there was something in his report that I wanted to ask you about."**

Seven kept silent but nodded.

"**Chakotay noted that Ensign Kim claimed there had been a ...misunderstanding between you and him the night before he turned in his report to Chakotay. Harry wouldn't say what the misunderstanding was, neither to Chakotay nor to me when I asked him. Can you explain it to me?"**

Seven thought about it. She knew the Captain was referring to the incident in the mess hall two nights ago. Seven was still confused about it and she thought maybe the Captain might be able to explain it to her.

"**Ensign Kim asked me to meet him in the mess hall shortly after 00:30 hours. I arrived and he claimed to have gotten a 'midnight inspiration' concerning the Astrometrics Lab. He said his idea could use my unique perspective so I studied his data. It seemed logical and efficient. Then Ensign Kim suggested I accompany him to the holodeck to watch the K'tarian moonrise."**

Janeway felt her anger build at the thought of Harry putting the moves on Seven... on Annika.

"**After a moment I concluded Ensign Kim wanted to change the nature of our affiliation. I'd noticed several physiological changes in his breathing, heart rate, and facial expressions in my presence and came to the assumption that Ensign Kim wished to copulate. I asked him if he wanted that, he denied it. Shortly after that he left the mess hall and I returned to my alcove."** Seven paused. "**Captain, the entire incident confuses me. Why would Ensign Kim suggest a romantic activity on the holodeck then deny wanting to copulate?"**

Janeway heard the confusion in Seven's voice and felt her anger melt away. Harry Kim didn't know it, but refusing Seven's offer had saved him a trip through the air lock…or at the very least a trip to sick bay. "**Seven, it's complicated. Please, sit down because an explanation could take a while."**

Seven was about to refuse to sit when she realized Janeway was willing to extend their time together. Maybe there would also be time to ask the Captain about those random words that flashed through her head.

Janeway watched as Seven stepped up to the upper level and sat carefully on the edge of the couch.

"**Seven, sometimes humans have a hard time expressing themselves. From what you've told me and the word spreading around the ship, Harry seems to have a crush on you."**

"**A 'crush'? What is that?"**

"**It means he likes you. But I've known Harry for over three years now and I know he'll probably never act on it. He'll just act nervous around you for a while until the crush wears off." **

"**Wears off?" **

"**Ends." **

"**I see. So I should ignore it?" **

"**That would be my recommendation, yes."** Never mind that Janeway had an ulterior motive for discouraging Seven away from Harry.

"**Understood, Captain."**

Janeway sensed there was something Seven wanted to ask. It wasn't so much anything in her demeanor but rather a sixth sense that Janeway attributed to her connection to Annika. "**Is there anything else you wish to talk about? Since we're in a calm stretch of space, now is a good time."**

Seven hesitated, not knowing why she thought the Captain would be able to explain the words in her head. "**Yes, though I am uncertain how to ask." **

"**Just ask Seven. I'll do my best to answer." "Very well, over the last few days, I've had flashes of words in my head. Random words that hold little to no meaning for me, yet...they are in my head." **

"**I see... what words are they?" **

"_**Camping, holodeck, red, wizard, Anastasia, erised, Voldemort, park, McDonalds, and...Katie.**_** They run on a loop in my head at random times, usually when there is nothing else to occupy my mind."**

Janeway was in shock. The words Seven had listed were like triggers for memories Janeway tried to keep hidden. Janeway wondered how best to approach the situation. "**Well, Seven,"** she began, cautiously as she tried not to lie but not to divulge the whole truth just yet. "**I can give you the generic definitions of the words but, as for their specific significance I am not sure if I can be of any use."**

"**I understand, Captain. However, at this time, I would appreciate any insight you may provide."**

Janeway smiled and nodded. "**Alright. Well, the easiest to explain are holodeck, red, and camping..."** Janeway proceeded to explain as best she could the generic meanings of the words Seven had mentioned while at the same time pushing her own memories to the back of her mind. She purposely omitted their significance to Annika. Janeway wasn't sure if Seven was ready to find out about her past...with Katie.

An hour later, Seven left Janeway's ready room with a better understanding of the random words and with a place to start in researching a few of the terms.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Janeway sat on the couch in her quarters, trying to not think about the memories Seven had stirred up. Janeway remembered her promise to Annika about watching the Harry Potter movies once she'd read all the books. Janeway had been looking forward to it as much as Annika had, even though she'd already read the books and seen the movies. Suddenly, Janeway wondered what she'd see if there was such a thing as a Mirror of Erised.

TBC...


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen **

A few days after their conversation in her ready room, Janeway decided she couldn't wait any longer to spend time with Seven..._with Annika_. Janeway tried to find an activity that she could enjoy sharing with Seven, but also one that wouldn't trigger anymore random words for Seven. As much as Janeway wanted Seven to remember being Annika, she still wasn't fully prepared for what that might mean... not just for Seven but also for their friendship. For Katie and Annika.

After a lot of thought, Janeway settled on clay sculpting in her DaVinci holoprogram. Once she had the program up and running, she had Seven join her in holodeck 1.

Seven arrived promptly and then stood patiently as Captain Janeway tried to explain what she wanted Seven to understand.

"**It's not as difficult as it looks,"** Janeway explained, referring to the clay model of a head that was resting on the table between them. "**The first rule is: Don't be afraid of the clay."**

Seven, in her usual fashion took it literally, "**I fear nothing."** The monotonous tone in her voice made it obvious she saw no value in this activity. However, Seven tolerated it because Captain Janeway had requested her company.

"**I mean, you can't concern yourself with making a mistake, or whether the image you had in your mind is what's taking shape in front of you. You just have to let your hands—and the clay—do the work. Here."** Janeway explained before handing a small lump of clay to Seven. Offering it to her as one might offer broccoli to a picky eater.

Reluctantly, Seven took the clay from Janeway and held it in her palm, the look on her face made it clear she was confused by what to do with it.

Janeway motioned with one hand from the clay in Seven's hand to the head on the table. "**Go ahead...I think the nose could be a little stronger."** Janeway sat down as she said this and then let herself just watch Seven.

No matter what she tried to make it stop, Janeway still couldn't look at Seven without seeing Annika. She couldn't think about Seven without wishing there was a way she could have Annika as well. Janeway watched, encouraging Seven in her efforts to "strengthen" the nose. However, given the newness of the experience, it wasn't as easy as Janeway had made it seem.

Finally, Seven spoke up, "**This activity is truly unproductive,"** she began though she kept poking at the clay, "**the end result has no use. No necessary task has been accomplished. Time has been expended, nothing more."** Seven stopped her poking as she looked up at Janeway, displeasure in the activity obvious in her voice and on her face.

Janeway, thought, was determined to defend her purpose in this activity, "**that depends on how you look at it, doesn't it? I find sculpting helps me unwind, relax."**

Seven, equally determined to understand why Janeway loved it so much spoke honestly, "**the concept of relaxation is...difficult for me to understand."**

Even as a child, relaxing wasn't easy for you Annika. Janeway's memories broke free for a moment before she reined them in to listen to Seven's words. "**As a Borg, my time was spent working at a specific task. When it was completed, I was assigned another. It was efficient."**

There's that word again 'efficient'. "**Well, so is this. It helps my own efficiency to forget about **_**Voyager**_** for a while."** Janeway finished fixing the nose but could tell the head needed a lot more work. "**I'd be embarrassed to show Maestro Leonardo something like this, but...I get a great deal of pleasure in working the clay...in creating something."**

"**But why here, in this simulation among these archaic objects and this…disorganized environment?"**

_You never could stand clutter, could you? Nice to see some things never change._ Janeway smiled, "**Frankly it's refreshing to take myself out of the 24th century every now and then."**

"**But why this simulation?"**

"**This is a simulation of the workshop of Leonardo DaVinci, one of the most prolific artists and scientists in human history. Creating something in this environment even with the disorganization can be very...nourishing to the imagination. You should try it sometime."**

"**Are you suggesting that I create one of these holodeck programs?"**

_Damn, I didn't think she'd make that leap. Still, would be interesting to see what Seven designs as opposed to a six year old Annika..._

"**You might find it interesting,"** _I know I would,_ "**it's a way of exploring aspects of yourself that probably didn't fit into your life as a Borg—"** _or as a six year old, having the older version of yourself kiss the hologram of me,_ "—**imagination, creativity, fantasy."** _Even curiosity._

"**I am uncertain why these things are necessary." **

"**Well, they aren't necessary, Seven, but they're an important part of one's life, because imagination frees the mind, it inspires ideas and solutions and it can provide a great deal of pleasure. Human progress...the human mind itself couldn't exist without them."**

Seven thought about that for a moment before, "**Captain, does this...theory of yours regarding imagination extend to works of fiction as well?" **

"**Fiction? As in stories? Yes it does, why?" **

"**The last time we spoke, you explained about some of the words that had been flashing in my head." **

""**Yes, I remember." **

"**Since then I've taken the liberty of researching further and I came across something interesting." **

"**Oh?"** _Dammit, please don't tell me you found a link to Katie, not yet._

"**By cross-referencing the words together I discovered a series of fictional works which contained a few of those words. The Harry Potter Series. Are you familiar with them?"**

_She found the books...great._ Janeway wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not."**Um, yes I am. Seven installments, written around the early 21st century. Set on Earth in a country known as England, revolving around a young orphan boy who discovers he's a wizard. The series was one of my favorites as a child."** It was really the most Janeway could say without giving too much away.

"**Yes. When I read them I found them interesting, yet contradictory in certain elements."**

Janeway's eyes widened, "**You read all seven installments in less than three days?!"**

"**Yes."** Seven was confused, the Captain seemed to think it was unlikely. "**You seem surprised by that, why?"**

"**I've just never known anyone who could read all seven installments so quickly. I'm...well I'm impressed."**

A tingle of pleasure skittered down Seven's spine at hearing she'd impressed Captain Janeway. "**I am still unclear though, as to why words from this series were in my head."**

Janeway thought about that one for a moment, wondering how much information to reveal. While Janeway pondered her decision, something in the corner of the room near the ceiling caught Seven's attention. Janeway noticed Seven's distraction and took advantage of it to avoid answering the question.

"**Ah, DaVinci's design for an airplane. Seven?"**

Seven stood there staring at the design, transfixed by it as a flash of what might've been a memory assaulted her brain. As Seven stood there, entranced, Janeway noticed her swaying slightly. After that, Janeway grew concerned and stepped in front of Seven, grabbing her shoulders to gain her attention.

"**Seven, what is it?"** The concern in her voice was obvious but Seven was too preoccupied to notice.

"**I...don't know."** Her voice was low and a little scared as she looked back up at the design. Janeway followed her gaze, confused as to why it was affecting her young friend so much.

Finally Janeway spoke, "**ok, let's take you to sick bay to see if the doctor can shed some light on the situation, ok?"**

"**Yes, Captain."** Seven followed without protest, still trying to process the flash.

In sick bay, Janeway and the Doctor listened as Seven described what had been happening to her. Janeway was carefully concealing her reactions, her hope that maybe Annika was trying to break free and make contact.

"**It's happened three times now, in different locations, at different times of the day. I experience a series of disjointed images in my mind."** Seven didn't say it but the images scared her more than they confused her.

"**Can you be more specific? Were these hallucinations?"** The Doctor asked as he scanned Seven's brain with a tricorder.

"**I don't know. I've never hallucinated."** Seven paused to gather her thoughts. Janeway was practically forgotten for the moment. "**It's as if I were aboard a Borg vessel, but...but I was frightened. I felt fear. Each experience is similar—I'm pursued by the Borg, they want to assimilate me. I'm...I'm running from them, and then...and then each time I see...a bird." **

"**A bird?" **

"**Yes, a large, black bird, flying toward me, shrieking...attacking me." **

"**Hmm."** The Doctor began, "**your hippocampus is in a state of agitation." **

"**What does that mean?" **

"**As your human physiology continues to reassert itself, psychological symptoms are bound to manifest in a variety of ways—through dreams, hallucinations, flashbacks. You could be experiencing some kind of post traumatic stress disorder."**

Janeway jumped on that theory as a way to avoid the possibility of divulging her past with Annika to Seven."**That makes sense. You were assimilated by the Borg. You've gone through an intense, prolonged trauma."**

"**I was not traumatized. I was raised by the Borg. I don't see them as threatening. Why would I experience fear?" **

"**I don't know,"** The Doctor replied.

_I think I know._ Janeway thought, _Seven might not feel threatened or traumatized but Annika does. Annika has every reason to fear the Borg. She's so close to the surface in these moments. I wish I could say something, anything to Seven about Annika. But until she remembers on her own, I can't push her. I can't let my selfish desire to have my friend back ruin any chance of getting her back._

"**Will I keep having these...flashbacks?"** Seven sounded as if that was the last thing she wanted.

"**I'll need to study your neural scans further. In the meantime, your digestive system is fully functional. Now is as good a time as any for you to begin taking solid and liquid nutrients." **

"**Oral consumption is inefficient."**

_Not always...damn! Bad thoughts Katie! Focus!_

"**And unnecessary, if you're lucky enough to be a hologram. But your human physiology requires it. I'll draw up a list of nutritional requirements. Take it to Mister Neelix in the Mess Hall. I hesitate to inflict his cooking on you, but it'll have to do."**

As the Doctor walked away to put together the list, Seven caught Janeway looking at her. The concern in Janeway's eyes warmed her even as the uneasiness of her situation disturbed her.

"**I do not enjoy this sensation. Something is happening to me and I don't know what it it. It's as though I'm being driven somehow."**

_With Annika behind the wheel I suspect._

Before Janeway could say something she was interrupted by Chakotay. "**Chakotay to the Captain." **

"**Go ahead, Commander." **

"**Our guests have arrived. They're being escorted to the Briefing room." **

"**On my way."** _Lousy timing._ Janeway turned to address Seven, "**Representatives of the B'omar. I've been trying to negotiate passage through their space,"** as Janeway passed behind Seven towards the door she couldn't resist the need to touch Seven's arm in passing, "**but so far they've been difficult to deal with. I hope they've had a change of heart."**

Seven walked with Janeway to the door of sick bay, reluctant for their time together to end."**I'll stay here and wait for the Doctor's instructions."**

Janeway sighed, she too didn't want to end her time with Seven but duty called. Still, she spoke the only truth she could at that moment, "**I'll—we'll help you through this Seven. You'll be alright."** With one last gentle squeeze of Seven's shoulder, Janeway left Sickbay and Seven to deal with the B'omar.

Five minutes into the meeting with the B'omar representatives Janeway was wishing she'd stayed with Seven. The B'omar were arrogant, condescending and they made Janeway want to slug them. But she knew better than to give in to those urges.

Janeway felt herself calling upon all of her diplomacy skills to get through the meeting without causing an intergalactic incident. Idly, she wondered what Seven was doing.

Ten minutes of trying to negotiate a more direct path through B'omar space passed and Janeway was getting short on patience. The B'omar were uncompromising and Janeway was far too close to resorting to violence when she was called to the Bridge by Lieutenant Tuvok. Excusing herself, Janeway walked onto the Bridge to face a whole new headache.

Seven had gone rogue and despite their best efforts, Seven managed to get onto a shuttle and leave Voyager, heading straight into B'omar space. Needless to say, the B'omar weren't pleased. In Janeway's ready room, the two B'omar and Chakotay waited for Janeway. When she walked in, she began to try to smooth the way to get Seven back, safely.

"**We'll do everything in our power to find her, but we need permission to enter B'omar space to track her shuttle effectively."**

The B'omar representative wasn't swayed, "**Let's tally the events, shall we? First, you arrive uninvited and unwelcome, requesting a shortcut through our space. Then you proceed to unleash some sort of rogue Borg and now you want us to help you get it back."** His condescending tone was really beginning to grate on Janeway's nerves, added to the B'omar calling Seven 'it' and Janeway was just barely holding on to her temper by a thread.

"**I apologize for what's happened here, but we certainly didn't 'unleash' anyone."** _I'd never let Annika go if I could stop her._ "**We can resolve this situation quickly, gentlemen, if we work together."**

"**Captain Janeway, after what I've seen here, I question your competence."**

"**May I remind you that you're still on my ship."**

The shorter B'omar representative decided to chime in, "**and you are only one vessel among many of ours."**

"**Your Borg will be dealt with quickly and efficiently. It's being tracked as we speak. The Borg will be found…and destroyed."**

_Like hell!!_ "**Chancellor—"**

"**There will be no sharing of information. From this point on, your vessel will maintain a distance of at least five light-years from our borders. Any deviation will be considered an act of aggression."**

Janeway never let slip her command mask as she ordered Chakotay to take the B'omars to the transporter room and off her ship. When they left, Janeway took a moment to calm herself before she faced her crew. She was going to get to the bottom of the situation with Seven and her sudden departure and she was going to get Seven back on _Voyager_ alive, safe and sound.

Once she was sure she had herself under control again, Janeway ordered the assembly of a team to analyze the Cargo bay where Seven had been living during her stay on _Voyager_. Janeway didn't know what she expected to find but she'd leave no stone unturned as she searched for the answers he needed.

After finding the data-node with Seven's log entries, Chakotay arrived to inform Janeway of the B'omar's increased security at the borders...and to tell her the Doctor found something in Seven's last transporter records.

As they walked out of the Cargo Bay towards the turbo lift Chakotay said, "**maybe this was inevitable. Even if Seven did want to stay on **_**Voyager**_**, her Borg nature may have won out. We can remove implant after implant, but maybe at her core, she'll always be a part of the Collective."**

_Stupid, foolish man!_ "**No. I won't accept that."** _I know better, at her core—she's Annika._ "**She was responding to us—"** _to me and her memories,_ "—**interacting with people outside the Collective for the first time. She was adapting to this environment,"** _remembering her youth._ "**and to this crew. But where is she going? We've scanned space for a distance of forty light-years. We found no evidence of Borg ships,"** Janeway was pacing the turbo lift by now, "**so she can't be trying to rejoin the Collective."**

"**She may plan to take the shuttle back to Borg space."**

_Over my dead body!_

"**Ten thousand light-years from here?"** _Do you have a brain or is it just a dead hamster on a spinning wheel?_ "**I don't think so. No, something else is going on. We're missing a piece of the puzzle."** _And I'll bet anything Annika holds that piece. I just have to get it from her._

"**I won't let the B'omar destroy her Chakotay."**

Chakotay simply nodded then followed Janeway to Sick Bay.

Janeway sat in her ready room, alone. She was trying to deal with the guilt she felt over what she said to Tuvok. Her authorization to stop Seven with any force necessary if she couldn't be reasoned with. Essentially, she'd given permission for Tuvok to kill Seven if it became necessary. Janeway knew Tuvok would exhaust every means of bringing Seven back safe. Killing would only be a last resort. Still, it didn't make the guilt any easier to deal with.

When she could stand the close confines of her ready room no longer, Janeway left and, wandering aimlessly through the corridors, she found herself outside the Cargo Bay. Janeway entered and, in a moment of curiosity, she stepped onto the platform which held one of Seven's regeneration alcoves. Janeway 'assumed the position' and closed her eyes, letting Seven's residual aura wash over her and bring her a small measure of peace. This was where Ensign Harry Kim found his Captain.

Harry had been given the formidable task of translating Seven's logs from Borg language to English. He'd finally succeeded and had come to report his findings to his Captain.

"**Captain? Am I disturbing you?"**

Janeway opened her eyes and turned to look at the young man."**Not at all, Harry."**

"**I've managed to decipher Seven's log entries." **

That got Janeway's attention enough to get her to move off of the regeneration alcove. "**And?"**

"**There's nothing that indicates she was planning to leave the ship. The entries are pretty unremarkable. She describes her daily routines, number of hours spent regenerating, a few entries about a series of words, that sort of thing. There were some personal log entries, mostly observations about the crew's behavior. I'm mentioned in quite a few of them...as are you Captain. Apparently, she finds my behavior easy to predict, and yours hard to fathom but not unpleasant."**

Janeway smiled, "**don't take it personally. Coming from Seven, that's probably a compliment."**

Harry chuckled at that then explained that the most recent entries were the strangest ones. As he spoke Janeway read the entry. Janeway soon found and honed in on the description of the bird that Seven mentioned in Sick Bay earlier. "'**The feathers are black. Wingspan approximately one half meter. The eyes are yellow and it has a powerful triangular beak. When it looks at me...I am paralyzed. I cannot move. It seems to know me, but I don't understand how that's possible. It's merely a bird, an inferior form of life, but the sight of it fills me with fear.'"** Janeway paused a moment, thinking about what she just read. "**It sounds like she's describing a member of the...Corvidae family, like a crow or..."** _Oh God! Of course!_ "**...or a raven. She's describing a raven."** _The name of the ship she was on with her parents was called the Raven. I should've guessed when she mentioned a bird in Sick bay!_

"**Why is that important?"** Poor Harry was confused and it didn't look like Janeway was going to clear things up any time soon.

"**Because now I know what to look for,"** _The remains of the Raven must be somewhere in B'omar space._

Janeway rushed to the bridge, determined to put her new knowledge to good use and find Seven. She would bring her back, safe and sound, so she could continue working towards her goal of restoring Seven's humanity in the form of Annika and her memories.

After thoroughly decimating any chance of a diplomatic conclusion to their interactions with the B'omar while trying to get Seven, Tuvok, and Tom back to Voyager safely, all Janeway wanted to do was forget about the ship's business for an hour or two on the holodeck.

However, when she got there she noticed her DaVinci program was already running. She knew only one person on the ship who would run that program aside from herself. Janeway took a deep breath and, squaring her shoulders, walked into DaVinci's workshop. Janeway looked around and sure enough, there was Seven standing on an upper balcony studying DaVinci's model wings.

"**There you are."** Janeway decided to give Seven the Doctor's message now that she'd stumbled upon her."**I wanted to tell you that the Doctor said he could adjust one of your implants so that you won't receive any more homing signals."** As she spoke, Janeway walked closer to the balcony Seven stood on and looked up at her.

"**Thank you. I hope you don't mind that I activated this program." **

"**Not at all."**

Seven turned and began walking down the steps to be on even footing with Janeway. "**I've been thinking about what you said...that this was a place to encourage your imagination."**

"**Is that appealing to you?" **

"**I'm not certain. I find myself...constructing scenarios, considering alternative possibilities. What if my parents and I had not encountered the Borg?"**

_Please don't go there. I just stopped asking myself that._

"**What would our lives have been?"** _Seven, please don't._ "**I would've been raised by them, learned from them."** Seven paused a moment, deciding to reveal what she'd remembered. "**I would've stayed on Earth with...with Katie." **

Janeway felt the air rush out of her lungs. She barely managed to squeak out, "**Katie?"**

If Seven noticed Janeway's reaction she gave no indication as she continued, "**yes, being on the Raven again triggered certain memories. The most powerful ones being of my parents and...and Katie. I remember...when the Borg came for us...I cried out for her. Not for my mother or my father, I cried out for Katie to save me."**

The words were like guilt-filled arrows striking Janeway's heart. To know that in that moment when Annika was experiencing real terror, she'd cried out for her and Katie Janeway was no where to be found...it ripped her heart to shreds.

"**I'm so sorry Seven."** Janeway choked out the words around the lump which had taken up residency in her throat.

"**You have nothing to apologize for Captain." **

"**Do you...do you remember who Katie was?"**

For the first time, Seven actually smiled, "**yes. Katie was my best friend, my babysitter, my protector. While my parents busied themselves with their work, Katie always had time for me." **

"**She sounds like someone you cared a great deal about." **

"**She was...she is...she will be." **

"**What do you mean?"** Janeway didn't know whether she wanted Seven to know she was Katie or not.

Seven took a deep breath, "**Katie is alive, I know it. I know this because...I also remembered Katie's last name...it was Janeway. Katie Janeway, she grew up to become Captain Kathryn Janeway."**

Janeway was floored. She'd been hoping for a few more days (or weeks) before this little revelation. Janeway was left speechless.

Seven noticed this and took mercy on the woman who had once been her best friend. "**I should regenerate now. Goodnight...Katie."** Seven left the holodeck, leaving a dumbstruck Janeway in her wake.

TBC…


	15. Chapter 14

****

Chapter Fourteen 

Almost a month had gone by since Sevens quiet admission that she remembered Katie. A month that found Janeway blissfully too busy with other pressing matters to devote any time to responding to Sevens revelation.

Between the alien race performing secret experiments on Janeway and her crew, risking the ship in a kamikaze flight through a binary pulsar star, then saving BLanna from the Mari who wanted to perform a lobotomy on her as a punishment for a random violent thought, Janeway found no time to deal with the issue of Seven, Annika, & Katie.

Janeway knew that would only last so long and in all honesty, she didnt like feeling like a coward by hiding from Seven behind her duties as Captain.

Seven had finally had enough. A month ago, when shed told Captain Janeway about what she remembered, Seven had instinctively known that her old friend would need time. Seven had only intended to give Janeway a week before she confronted her about Katie. However, circumstances had conspired to prevent that, so that a month had passed before Seven had a chance to talk to her Captain.

A few days after the...incident on the Mari homeworld, Voyager was passing through a quiet patch of space when Seven made up her mind to confront Captain Janeway about Katie.

Captain Kathryn Janeway had returned to her quarters after an uneventful, quiet shift on the Bridge. While quiet stretches of space were rare and meant that she could work regular eight hour shifts, Janeway loved action.

Janeway had just sat down on her couch with a glass of wine and a book, ready to simply relax when the chime on her door sounded. Sighing heavily, Janeway put her book down on the coffee table before,** come in.**

The doors opened and Seven of Nine entered. Janeway's throat tightened as her heartbeat tripped into overdrive. She'd known that she'd have to talk to Seven sooner or later about Seven's newly rediscovered memories. Janeway just wished it could've been later...when she could've been better prepared. Though something told her she'd never really be ready for this conversation.

**Hello Seven.** Janeway said, her calm voice in direct opposition to her inner emotions.

**Good evening Captain. I...I was wondering if we could talk.** Seven stumbled uncharacteristically as she tried to word her request for a talk.

Janeway briefly considered putting it off but soon realized she'd been a coward long enough.** Alright. Have a seat.**

Seven walked over to the couch and carefully sat down. She was unaccustomed to sitting but she was willing to try it... especially if it made Captain Janeway more relaxed.

**Captain, I...** Seven paused, then tried a different approach.** Do you recall what I told you a month ago in the holodeck?** Seven finally asked, deciding the direct approach would be more efficient.

Janeway smiled,** yes I remember. What about it?**

Seven paused, then,** I need to know if what I remembered on board the remains of the _Raven_ was an accurate memory... was it?**

Janeway knew it was now or never and never was not an option. Janeway took a deep breath and,** I believe it was, Seven.**

Seven absorbed that in silence. Then,** so that would mean...that you are...** Seven's voice trailed off, unable to finish her sentence as the full import of the information hit her.

Janeway took pity on her friend and just nodded,** yes.**

Katie? A whisper.

**Yes Seven.** Janeway just confirmed...not knowing yet what else to say.

Seven frowned,** you knew me when I was a child?**

Yes.

How long have you known who I used to be? Seven needed to know.

Janeway paused,** known for certain? Since I had the Doctor run your DNA through the Starfleet databases to find out who you had been before you were assimilated. When I found out your human identity, it floored me. I remembered you right away,** Janeway's voice dropped to a whisper,** Annika.**

Seven listened, trying to make sense of what she was being told. As Seven sat silent, Janeway's guilt began nibbling on hr conscience again. She had guilt not only about her role in Annika's disappearance and subsequent assimilation but also guilt from what Seven had said before about calling out for Katie and not having her there to save her.

While Janeway's guilt threatened to consume her, Seven began forming questions.**Captain, when did you have my DNA run?**

Just after we severed your link to the Collective.

This whole time, nearly three months, you knew about me. Knew my past and the memories I'd lost...why didn't you tell me the truth?

Janeway paused to form her answer, she knew if it wasn't worded just right, she'd lose Annika and Sevenand that was unacceptable. ** I couldn't. You have to understand Seven, for almost twenty years I thought that...that you were dead. The greatest loss of my life, second only to my father's death, was when I came back from that training mission and found out you were gone. A part of me froze the day Starfleet officially called officially called off the search.** Janeway paused to take a breath, searching Seven's face for a reaction and finding only a glint of the spark that was Annika.**When I found out it was you under all that Borg technology, the part of me that had lain cold and dormant, warmed and came back to life. But...but I knew that if I rushed you to remember by confessing everything, I'd lose you all over again. You needed to remember on your own, do you understand?**

Seven remained silent, thinking. Logically, she knew Janeway was right., that she had to come to this place on her own. Seven closed her eyes and looked inward, she tapped into her memories of being Annika.

_ In a surreal space which existed in her own Borg-enhanced mind, Seven found her younger self._

**Annika?**

The young girl nodded, a small smile on her sweet, cherubic face. **Hi Seven.**

What is going on?

This is where I exist now...in your subconscious. The little girl's smile remained in place as she continued, **You found Katie.** It wasn't a question, she knew.

**More like she found me, but yes.**

I always knew she would. Katie can do anything. The affection, and yes a touch of hero-worship was evident in the younger girl's voice.

Seven smiled, **it would seem that way.** Seven thought back to the numerous times she'd seen Captain Janeway beat the odds and come out on top.

Annika knew what was holding her older self back and decided to open the door.** Forgive her Seven. What she did, she did for mefor us. Let her off the hook, please. It's the only was to get Katie back. Please Seven, I need Katie back...we both do.**

Seven nodded, agreeing to 'get Katie back' by forgiving her. Though she didn't fully understand why, she knew that her younger self, and yes possibly even her current self, needed the friendship of Katie Janeway. Annika thanked her again, hugged her and waved goodbye. 

Seven opened her eyes and saw Janeway sitting patiently but with concern evident in her eyes. Seven smiled, she was getting used to smiling, thinking of Annika.

**I think I understand Katie, I mean Captain.** A little bit of Annika had slipped out just then and Seven hoped Captain Janeway wouldn't be upset by it.

Janeway smiled, hearing her old nickname in Seven's voice, knowing that it came from the part of her that was remembering being Annika, was like aloe on a sunburnsoothing. **Seven, when it's just the two of us, alone together, you can call me Katie, ok?**

Seven grinned, a little bit of Annika bleeding out again,** ok...Katie.**

I'm glad that's settled. I've missed you. Janeway let herself slip a little, hoping to tap into the part of Seven that was remembering being Annika.

**Katie, Annika and I both forgive you. Please let go of the guilt you feel. For Annika.**

Janeway was surprised by Seven's words.**I can't promise that. I can try but it won't be easy.**

Understood. But CapI mean Katie, you did nothing wrong. Not twenty years ago and not over these past weeks. My parents would've taken me with them on that last mission. They'd planned to run away from the Federation and Starfleet. Even if you had been on Earth, they never would've let me stay behind. So you see, you have nothing to feel guilty about Katie.

Janeway listened, smiling. Hearing Seven talk about her past like this made her happy, even if the words were not what she wanted to hear. Janeway's guilt was unwilling to let her off the hook so easily.

**I hear what you're saying Seven but, I can't know that for certain, and neither can you. Maybe if I had been there, your mom would've let you stay with me.**

Seven shook her head, she'd known most of this before she was assimilated but after she'd been linked to both of her parents' minds through the Collective, she'd come to know their thoughts as well...she knew she wasn't mistaken. **No, she would not have left me behind when they finally got their chance. Katie, my parents weren't perfect but they did love me, and when our minds were linked through the Collective, I found out all their secrets...**_ and they found out mine._** I am sorry that I never got to say goodbye, that we never had the chance to go camping in your father's holodeck, as you promised before you left on your training mission.**

Janeway smiled, eager to change the subject,** you remember that? My promise?**

Seven smiled, a little bit of Annika rising to the surface once again as she said,** even after I knew we were not going back to Earth anytime soon, even after my parents explained to me why, I clung to that promise. I kept it, and you, close to my heart right up to the moment I was assimilated. The little girl you knew was locked away in the darkest recess of her brain so that the Borg could not destroy her. This is why I was able to remember her. **

Janeway listened, absorbing this new information. To Janeway it sounded as if Annika and Seven were two different persons existing in the same mind. It occurred to Janeway that maybe that was part of the assimilation process. Knowing so little about what actually happens, Janeway could only speculate but maybe, when a Borg drone is freed from the 'shackles' of the Collective, the place where their original personality and memories are stored is opened up as well. It was all speculation but it would explain Seven being able to remember her life as Annika while at the same time almost disassociating from it. Hearing Seven talk about her younger self in the third person was an odd thing for Janeway but it also lent credence to her theory. Before Janeway could voice her theory, the ship was rocked. Janeway's hand automatically went to her combadge.

**Janeway to the Bridge.**

We're under attack, Captain. Came Chakotay's response.

**I'm on my way.** Janeway glanced apologetically at Seven. **we'll continue this conversation later. Right now I'm needed on the Bridge.**

Janeway headed to the Bridge while Seven, needing to be useful, headed to her post in Astrometrics.

As Janeway stepped onto the Bridge she could see that they were being fired on by an unknown enemy.

**Who are they and why are they shooting at us?** Janeway asked Chakotay, who was supposed to be in charge while she was off the Bridge.

**I don't know Captain. They're not responding to hails.**

Janeway barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes.** Damage?**

Lt. Paris replied,** None.**

I'm reading a slight destabilization along the shield perimeter. Harry chimed in.

**Attempting to compensate.** Tuvok replied, his usual Vulcan calm in place.

Janeway noticed how her Bridge crew worked like a well oiled machine, like a team and it made her smile.

Meanwhile, the ships kept coming at them.

**Torres to the Bridge.**

Go ahead.

We just lost the warp diagnostic assembly.

What do you mean 'lost'? Janeway was confused and a little pissed off.

**It disappeared.** B'Elanna's voice reflected Janeway's confusion and irritation.

Janeway was silenced by that for a moment.

Then Harry spoke up,** I'm picking up dematerializations on Decks 4 through 12.**

Evasive maneuvers. Janeway ordered Tom.

Tom Paris changed their course but found their enemy was matching the changes and he told Janeway as much.

**It's definitely some kind of transporter beam.** Chakotay began as he checked the read outs on the console at his chair.

Janeway turned to Tuvok,** Fire at will.** She was done playing nice.

**I have the will but not the means, Captain. Targeting control is down.** Tuvok replied.

**Why?**

It was Harry who answered,** Captain, the main computer processor is gone. We've lost weapons, navigation and propulsion.**

Back up systems are coming online.

Full phasers, manual targeting, keep firing until you hit something. Janeway ordered.

Pretty soon the other ships retreated and Chakotay ordered full damage reports from all decks.

Janeway called the Senior Staff into the conference room for a full assessment of what had just happened. The final tally for missing items removed by the unknown enemies was five Tricorders, three phaser rifles, a couple of photon torpedo casings, two anti-matter injectors, a month's supply of emergency rations, and the Doctor's mobile emitter.

Despite the losses, the biggest loss was the main computer processor., getting it back was their top priority. Janeway turned to Lt. Torres.** B'Elanna, I want a defense against another transporter attack. Harry, do everything you can to track those ships.**

Yes ma'am.

Dismissed.

The Senior Staff left the conference room to return to their posts. Janeway retreated to her ready room, not yet ready to face Seven again.Harry, however, was eager to see Seven, though he chose to hide behind the cloak of work. Harry entered Astrometrics and found Seven there working, Harry tried to sound as if he'd not expected to see her there even though he'd known she would be there.** Seven, hey...**

Before he could continue, Seven cut him off,** If you're here to fraternize, I do not have the time.**

Harry didn't let himself get flustered.** Actually, the Captain wanted me to locate the ships that attacked us.**

The mention of the Captain got Seven's attention though she didn't show it.

**I've pushed the long range sensors about as far as they'll go...** Harry continued only to be cut off again by Seven.

**And now you believe the sensors can be extended by using the deep space imaging system.** Seven interrupted, finally turning to look at Harry.

**Well, yes.**

Seven turned back to her console,** I've been working on that exact procedure for the past two hours.** Seven didn't mention that _she_ didn't need a Captain's order to know what to do...or that she felt slighted at not being included in the meeting in the conference room.

**Really? Let's have a look.**

Seven turned to Harry, her usual Borg confidence momentarily replaced by Annika's human insecurity.** do you doubt my ability to finish the task? **

The lapse was brief but enough to fluster Harry who wasn't used to explaining every little thing he said. **It...look... I came here to work. Um...I realized you'd already started the job...so I offered to help. That's all. I offered to help.** Harry moved several feet away from Seven as he spoke, hoping to seem less threatening than he thought he was.

Seven accepted his explanation and then explained a problem she was having then gave Harry a task to complete to help fix the problem.

As Harry was trying to say something, probably along the lines of 'I don't take orders from you', Seven simply gave him a choice: do what she asked or leave the room.

Harry chose the easy path and just complied, preferring to avoid having to tell the Captain why he's left the room over such a silly thing. They worked in silence after Harry made a wasted attempt to explain to Seven that she should learn to be more diplomatic when dealing with other crew members.Ten days passed before Voyager was able to track down its missing technology...mostly because the ship's systems were only at half capacity. They'd tracked the Starfleet signatures to a planet a few light years away.

Because the planet was a center of commerce, Janeway agreed to send an undercover away team to the surface to locate their technology.

**Tuvok, you and I are going after the processor. Tom, Neelix, I want you on the other continent to find out what you can. At the very least try to get our emergency rations back. Chakotay, you have the Bridge.**

Janeway, Tuvok, Tom and Neelix left the Bridge then, heading for the transporter room. Halfway there, Janeway was hailed.

**Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway.**

Janeway here.

Captain please come to Astrometrics for a moment.

Janeway thought about refusing, then found she couldn't say no to Annika or Seven.** On my way. Tuvok wait for me in the transporter room, Tom, Neelix, go ahead without us.**

The three men nodded and kept walking to the transporter room while Janeway made her way to Astrometrics.When Janeway walked into the Astrometrics lab, Seven was alone, the screen behind her lit up with its usual data on their current location.

**You wanted to see me Seven?**

Now that Janeway was standing in front of her, Seven felt silly for calling her there. Still...she wasn't going to let that stop her.

**I apologize for my timing Captain but, I simply wanted to ask you to be careful on the planet.**

Janeway was touched and confused all at once.** Did the sensors pick up a threat?**

No I just...well actually. Seven paused, realizing that Annika could explain better than she could, Seven let Annika come to the surface, when she did, her voice dropped to a whisper.** I got scared, Katie.**

Janeway knew then it wasn't Seven who had called her there, it was Annika. As confusing as it sometimes seemed, Janeway had come to understand that there would be times when the little girl Seven had once been would surface to make herself heard.

Seven was in a rare position. When Annika had been assimilated, she hadn't been destroyed she'd been hidden in a dark corner of the now Borg-enhanced brain that had been created. Without the connection to the Collective, that dark corner had been lit up and Annika had freed herself only to discover that she'd been left behind.

Her body had aged and developed its own personality. Annika's only option now was to watch the world from behind Seven's eyes. But Seven had made peace with Annika so that her younger self could occasionally surface and interact with Katie.

**Annika?** Janeway asked, hoping to talk to her old friend.

Seven, realizing they both needed this, allowed Annika to stay out a while longer.

**Yes Katie.**

Annika what scared you? Though Janeway felt a bit silly asking, she didn't let it show.

Tears welled up in Seven's human eye.** I don't want to lose you. Not again and not now after I found you again.**

You won't lose me Annika. I promise. And I promise you I'll be careful on the planet, ok?

Annika nodded, knowing Katie always kept her promises. Seven, realizing Annika was done, took control again. Still, she kept her voice soft as she said,** Lieutenant Tuvok is waiting Captain. We'll talk later?**

Janeway knew Annika had been replaced and so she nodded and put her command face back on.

Just before Janeway turned to go, Seven surprised her by hugging her. It was a brief hug, too short for Janeway to react to but long enough to make her want more. Without another word, Janeway left and headed to the transporter room, smiling.Despite her promise to Annika to be careful on the planet, Janeway found it necessary to take a few risks, especially when she was trying to get the main computer processor back. With Tuvok's help. Janeway devised a plan to recover the processor.While Janeway was having her 'adventure' on the planet, Seven was on the ship, missing her. Before she could fully immerse herself in her own melancholy, Seven was reminded of someone else's less than stellar situation: the Doctor.

Seven went to Sickbay for her weekly checkup. The Doctor began to question her about the ship's goings on.

**So, what's new?**

New?

What's been happening on the ship? The Doctor clarified as he scanned Seven's implants with a tricorder.

**Nothing of consequence. The Captain and Tuvok are still searching for the processor.** Seven had learned that if she thought of Katie Janeway as 'Captain' then she could avoid the distraction that thinking of Katie always provided.

**What's the mood?**

If you're referring to crew moral, they seem focused on their mission.

The Doctor, trapped in Sickbay without his mobile emitter was eager for gossip. **Hmm...I heard there was something of a fuss in the mess hall last night.**

A trivial misunderstanding.

Oh? The Doctor perked up, hoping for more. When none was forthcoming he went on,** well, you seem in excellent health. Most of your implants are stable, but your optical interface is misaligned again. I told you to come in for maintenance once a week. So, what happened in the mess hall?** He tried again as he realigned Seven's optical interface.

** "Lieutenant Torres and I were working on some Astrometric data. There was a disagreement.** Seven refused to mention that she'd lost control of Annika for a split second and referred to the Captain as Katie in front of B'Elanna.

**I understand thing got a little...heated.** The Doctor's face lit up at the thought.

**Lieutenant Torres became emotional.** Lt Torres got curious about the Katie remark and wouldn't let it go. Thankfully, she'd also been discreet enough to cover it as an Astrometric problem.** She chose to display hostility rather than to counter my argument.**_ My insistence that she let what I said go and forget about it. Stubborn woman._

**What did she say exactly?**

It is irrelevant. No way was Seven going to repeat B'Elanna's words.** Suffice it to say I was correct and she was not.**

The Doctor became frustrated.** Details Seven, I want specifics.**

I see no reason to discuss these trivialities.

Without my mobile emitter, I am a prisoner in here. I need to know what's going on beyond these walls, trivial or not.

Seven thought about that. While she understood the Doctor's situation, she still wasn't going to tell him the truth about what had happened, so she pulled out another argument she'd had with Lieutenant Torres and substituted it for the truth.** Lieutenant Torres referred to me as an automaton. She also employed a series of profane Klingon insults. Shall I translate them for you?**

By all means, I very much...

The Doctor was interrupted by Tuvok, who summoned Seven to the Astrometrics lab. He reluctantly let her leave.

As Seven headed to the Astrometrics lab, she tried to put Lt Torres' words out of her mind. Every time they argued, Torres always used the same insults, mainly because they worked so well.In the Astrometrics lab, Seven dove right into the work Tuvok assigned her, determined not to think about Captain Janeway and why she was still on the surface.

Seven always liked working with Tuvok, his Vulcan logic worked well with her Borg efficiency. Annika only liked him because Katie liked him.

Within a few minutes, they'd located the main computer processor. Against Annika's objections of it being too risky, Seven suggested to Tuvok a way for Janeway to help them get the processor. As Tuvok left to inform the Captain, Seven stayed behind.

_ **Seven listen to me.** Annika pleaded. Seven braced herself on the console and closed her eyes and let herself be 'moved' to where Annika existed._

**I am listening.**

It's too dangerous Seven. Katie could be hurt or worse. Please stop this.

Annika, Katie is more than capable and we must trust her. She promised she'd be careful and you know she keeps her promises.

I'm scared Seven. I can't lose Katie again. I just can't. Annika began crying.

Seven wrapped her arms around her, trying to comfort her younger self.** You must have faith in Katie.**

They stayed like that for a while, Annika drawing strength from Seven while Seven offered whatever comfort she could. After a while, Seven pulled away to look at her younger self. What she saw in her eyes spoke volumes. **How long Annika?**

How long what? Annika knew what Seven had seen but wasn't ready to admit it yet. Seven had to ask the question.

**How long have you been in love with Katie?** There. The question was out there...awaiting an answer.

Annika took a deep breath, **from the moment she let me call her Katie, I knew. I was only four but I knew she was going to be important to me. She became my bet friend, my only friend, and when I was forced to leave her I realized she was my first love. But it wasn't until just before I was locked away in your mind, when for a few moments I was linked to my parents' thoughts that I truly knew what it was I felt for Katie. Their experiences and thoughts helped me realize my own feelings...then I was locked into this room in your mind and all I could do from then on was think about Katie. That's why I altered the holoprogram to include an older me, I realized. I needed her to know I felt even if back then I didn't truly know it yet.**

Annika paused, then began again,** All these years, locked away in your mind, all I thought about was her. I prayed I'd see her again even though I knew it was unlikely. I cried for the pain my disappearance would cause her. I hoped she'd remember me...but, thanks to the link she shared with us, the Borg Queen soon made me see I'd be forgotten under everything and every one else she'd know. But now, seeing her here, in front of me, I realize she never forgot about me, never truly gave up on me. Fate led her here to find me, find us. She cared about me, and still does I think. I have a second chance to be with her. But I know you're not in love with her Seven. Nothing I do or say can change that. You may have been a drone and accustomed to following orders but you sill have the choice whether to feel or not feel for her.**

Annika couldn't tell if she was making any sense but she had to get it all out. The Borg had perfected their methods and this was the result when a drone was severed and restored to her former humanity.

**If that is true, why tell me about your feelings?**

Annika sighed,** just because I can't force you to love her doesn't mean you can't be told. You need to know the options before you if you're to make an informed decision. If you do fall for Katie, all this duality can end. We will become one and we'll both be finally free from the Borg-ness that controls you and imprisons me.**

Explain.

Until we merge, the Borg implants in your brain will always control you and keep me in my place. They were designed to work in tandem with the Collective link, but with the link gone they can be destroyed. Together, we have the ability to remove that Borg control and be as human as we can be, given the permanent alterations we must live with. But, before we can do that, we must be mentally and emotionally in harmony. Do you understand?

Seven thought about it. She accessed her knowledge of Borg assimilation techniques and processes and realized that Annika was right. She knew that Annika would never be free until this happened. Seven wanted Annika free, only Annika could help her truly be human and make Katie happy again. Seven already knew she had feelings for Katherine Janeway. All she needed now was a sign that those feelings could be mutual and she'd be free to fall for Katie.

**I understand. I will do what I can Annika.** Annika smiled and nodded. 

Seven opened her eyes and became aware of her surroundings. She was still in Astrometrics. Seven checked the chronometer and realized that several hours had passed since Tuvok had left.

**Computer, located Captain Janeway.**

Captain Janeway is in holodeck one.

Seven smiled, glad that the Captain was back on board. Seven started walking toward the holodecks, hoping to talk with the Captain about what had happened on the planet. Seven reached the holodeck and noticed the Captain was running an unnamed program. Not wanting to disturb her, Seven simply stood and waited outside in the hall for Janeway to emerge.

TBC... 


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 **

Captain Kathryn Janeway stood on a grassy field in what was probably meant to be Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. She was in the holodeck, running the program that had been created by the six year old Annika, so long ago.

After she'd returned to Voyager, having retrieved the main computer core and the doctor's mobile emitter, Kathryn had felt an overwhelming urge to run the program. In the five seconds she took to analyze her reasons, she acknowledged that the 20 year old she used to be needed to be let out and the only safe place for that was with the hologram of her six year old friend.

Janeway had only run the program once before on Voyager. A month or so after realizing she'd stranded her crew sixty thousand light years from home, Janeway had been in her quarters, staring at the memory chip that held the program. Janeway remembered very well what it held and how the program ended, she also hoped that seeing her young friend's hologram would ease some of the despair she'd been feeling.

However, back then, seeing her younger self so full of life and her younger friend, whom she'd failed so long ago, had only added to the guilt Janeway was never free from. She felt the fresh guilt of her decision to strand her crew in the Delta Quadrant and also the constant guilt she'd been carrying with her for the better part of two decades.

However, now, knowing that somewhere on the ship her young friend was alive, and all grown up made her smile. Annika was alive and to Janeway (and Katie) that was the most important thing. Janeway watched in silence as the program ran its course to its familiar, but still confusing, ending.

Once the program ended, Janeway turned it off and walked to the control panel that held the memory chip. She knew she had the option of saving it in the database so she wouldn't have to always use the memory chip but Janeway wasn't going to run the risk of someone, like Tom Paris, coming across it and asking questions...or worse spreading it like gossip all over the ship.

Janeway shut down the program and tucked the memory chip into her pants pocket before opening the holodeck doors. Janeway stepped into the hallway and noticed Seven leaning against the opposite wall facing the entrance to the holodeck.

Seven looked up at the sound of the holodeck doors opening and when she saw Kathryn step out, she smiled.

Janeway, though surprised to see Seven standing there, couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face at seeing her waiting there.

**"Hello Seven, waiting to use the holodeck?"** Janeway knew Seven must've been waiting for her because she never really used the holodeck on her own.

**"No, Captain I was waiting for you. I was hoping we could talk for a while, in private I mean."** Seven said, hoping to get the Captain alone so that Annika could take over and say what she needed to say.

Janeway smiled,** "Of course Seven. My quarters?"**

**"That is acceptable."**

Janeway led the way and Seven followed, silently. Annika was in Seven's brain trying to tell her to loosen up and stop talking like a Borg. Seven, meanwhile was trying not to remind Annika that she was Borg and therefore couldn't help talking like one. Seven held back from fully interacting with Annika as it would mean retreating into her mind like before and doing so while walking could be dangerous.

Janeway, oblivious to the internal argument Seven and Annika were having, simply led the way to the turbolift. Once inside, she gave their destination and waited as the turbolift whooshed them away towards her quarters.

Janeway glanced at Seven, wondering what was going on in her mind that she was so quiet. Janeway mentally shrugged, realizing that she might never be able to guess since Seven was such a complex person, and add to that the memories of Annika that have obviously been surfacing and Janeway knew she was better off trying to understand time travel than Seven's thought processes.

The turbo lift opened and both ladies walked out and headed for Janeway's quarters. They got to the door and Janeway was about to key in the opening sequence when Chakotay hailed her.

**"Bridge to the Captain."**

Janeway sighed, frustrated at the interruption, though a part of her was a little relieved at the chance of possibly putting off the conversation she was sure Seven had in mind.

**"Janeway here, what is it Chakotay?"**

**"Captain, sensors have picked up something...interesting. I think you might want to see this."**

**"On my way."** Janeway knew her first officer wouldn't tell her if she asked, she'd heard that tone in his voice plenty of times and she knew not to fight it. She turned to Seven,** "I'm sorry Seven, perhaps we can talk later?"**

Seven, though unhappy at Chakotay's interruption, knew better than to argue.** "Certainly Captain...you know where to find me."** Seven said before she turned on her heel and walked away.

Janeway watched her go and almost called her back. Something about Seven's reply bothered her.

Janeway decided not to linger on that and she headed to the bridge.

_'This had better be good.'_ She thought as she walked onto the bridge a few minutes later. **"Report."**

**"Sensors have picked up a Class 1 Nebula a few hours from here. We're picking up traces of protomatter inside."**

**"Onscreen."**

The viewscreen displayed the nebula and Janeway was impressed.** "Any suggestions Chakotay?"**

**"Well, protomatter could be useful as an energy source on Voyager. I was thinking of taking a shuttle closer to try to collect some of the protomatter. What do you think?"**

Janeway smiled.** "I think that's a good idea. Neelix might have more insights and be useful on your mission. Take him with you."**

**"Yes Captain. We'll leave 1400 hours to give us time to make sure we have all we need."**

Janeway nodded and then headed to her ready room. She wasn't ready to face Seven just yet so she decided to stay in her office. She rationalized it to herself by reminding herself that with Chakotay on an away mission, she would need to stay close to the bridge.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Seven left the Captain and headed to the mess hall, Annika had reminded her that it was time to eat. Seven stood in the kitchen area of the mess hall and picked up the plate of...food that Neelix had set aside for her. When the Talaxian re-entered the kitchen after talking with Commander Chakotay, Seven held the plate up and said,** "these nutritional supplements are unacceptable."**

Neelix looked at the plate and, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he looked up at Seven and asked,** "Whats wrong?"**

**"They are _pungent_."** The way she said 'pungent' almost made it seem like the word was synonymous with poison in her dictionary.

Neelix relaxed and said,** "that's the whole idea. I've been adding Talaxian spices to broaden your palate."**

Seven was undeterred,** "considering I have the knowledge of thousands of species in my memory banks, my palate is sufficiently broad, thank you."**

Neelix went about his routine as he explained about the up coming Prixin celebration. **"It's the Talaxian celebration of family. We observe it every year on Voyager. Now that you're part of the family..."** Neelix trailed off as he fought to not remember that Kes wasn't going to be at the celebration this year.

Seven asked,** "What should I do to prepare?"** Seven wanted to be ready, Annika wanted to avoid embarrassing Katie in any way during the party.

Neelix was a little amused as he explained that Prixin wasn't a mission, it was a party. Before he could elaborate, Ensign Wildman called him to help with her young daughter, Naomi, who happened to also be Neelix's goddaughter. Before he left, Seven stopped him.

**"Naomi, I don't recall that designation on the crew manifest."**

Neelix smiled,** "That's because she's not a member of the crew. Naomi was the first child born on _Voyager_."** Neelix's voice took on a proud tone as he continued,** "I'm her godfather and the only one that can get her to sleep lately. Bon appetite!"**

Neelix left Seven there to contemplate the new information and the...pungent food.

Seven took a seat at a table off in the corner. As she sat thinking about Prixin and Naomi, and even Katie, Annika suddenly spoke up. Seven closed her eyes and found Annika in their usual way.

_ **"Annika, what is it?"** Somehow, in this nether-space in her mind that they occupied when Annika wanted or needed to talk to Seven, Seven managed to sound more human than Borg. Seven found herself wishing she could carry that humanness out into the real world with her...to show Katie._

_Annika smiled at her older self,** "is it true? Is there really another little kid here on **_**Voyager**_**?"**_

_Seven smiled,** "yes, according to Neelix there's a little girl named Naomi, why?"**_

_Annika looked at Seven with a hopeful expression,** "do you think you could be nice to her long enough for me to be her friend? It would be nice to have another kid to play with...Katie is great but she's all grown up now."**_

_Seven thought about that and said, with a sad tinge to her voice,** "I can try but, there are still a lot of people on this ship that don't trust me because I am Borg. Naomi's mother might not want me to be friends with her daughter."**_

_Annika looked down, saddened. If the people on _Voyager_ could see Seven the way she was now, here in their safe space, they'd never again think of her as Borg. ** "Ok, fair enough I suppose."**_

Seven opened her eyes and looked around the mess hall, thankful that no one seemed to be paying her much attention. Seven carefully began eating the food Neelix had prepared, knowing her body needed the nutrients and reluctantly admitted to herself that it was quite tasty.

Seven finished eating then returned to Cargo bay 2 to regenerate. She knew she should try to finish her conversation with Captain Janeway but she also knew the captain would be busy today with the ship's business.

Seven's regeneration cycle was interrupted when she heard Neelix's voice calling out to a cylinder.

Neelix jumped a little when he saw Seven standing a few feet away.** "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you were home."**

**"I was regenerating."**

**"I see."**

**"Do you require assistance?"** Seven tried to shake off the coldness in her voice but couldn't, it was too ingrained in her Borg nature.

Neelix never held it against her, knowing that sometimes Seven came off as colder or brusquer than she intended.** "No, no, no, I have a small containment cylinder stored here. I'll just be a minute."**

Neelix started looking again, calling out for the cylinder as if it were a wayward puppy.

Seven studied him in silence, confused by his actions but curious as well.

Neelix noticed and chuckled to himself as he explained,** "I'm sorry, I'm talking to myself. It's my way of remembering things."**

Seven looked at him,** "you are a peculiar creature, Neelix."**

Easy-going Neelix simply said,** "thanks...I think."** Suddenly he found what he was looking for and grabbed it up. In his rambling explanation, he mentioned the Kazon. Seven's eyes lit up with recognition.

**"The Kazon--Species 329."**

**"You're familiar with them."** It wasn't a question.

**"The Borg encountered a Kazon colony in the Gand Sector, grid 6920."**

**"Were they assimilated?"** Although he didn't like the Kazon, Neelix didn't like the thought of anyone being assimilated.

**"Their biological and technological distinctiveness was...unremarkable. They were unworthy of assimilation."** Seven spoke almost clinically, knowing not a lot of people were comfortable around her. Neelix, however, had always been nice to her.

Neelix was a bit surprised,** "I didn't know the Borg were so discriminating."**

**"Why assimilate a species that would detract from perfection?"** To Seven it was a logical question.

Neelix thought about it and had to agree,** "Good point. Well, um, if you'll excuse me, I'm needed in the shuttle bay."**

Neelix left and Seven watched him leave. She hoped that she could one day be human enough to interact with others the way she did with Annika. Seven was about to head to her post in Astrometrics when she was hailed by Captain Janeway. **"Janeway to Seven of Nine."**

**"Seven here, Captain."**

**"Seven, please report to my ready room."**

**"On my way."**

Seven tapped her badge and headed to the Bridge. Maybe now they would finally have that conversation.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Seven stood in Janeway's ready room and studied the older woman seated behind the desk. Annika was getting impatient with her and wanted Seven to let her take over but she knew she couldn't force it.

Just as Seven was about to let Annika loose, she heard,** "Bridge to Captain Janeway."**

Janeway sent an apologetic look at Seven before tapping her badge,** "Janeway here, go ahead Mr. Kim."**

**"Captain, we're receiving a distress call from the shuttle."**

Janeway's eyes widened a bit,** "on my way."**

Seven stepped aside as Janeway walked to the door. When she was close enough, Seven whispered,** "later?"**

Janeway nodded then left to take command and do what she did best.

**"Mr. Kim, send a warning beacon into the nebula then begin scanning for the away team."**

**"Aye, Captain."**

It was a tense few hours on the bridge before Harry spoke again,** "Captain, I'm detecting a shuttle."**

After a few minutes, Janeway gave the transport order and headed to sickbay. Three crew members were on that shuttle but Voyagers sensors only picked up 2 life signs. Janeway needed to know what happened.

Janeway stood by the biobed that held Neelix's dead body and felt an overwhelming sadness. Neelix was a great man and he would really be missed. And one more body added itself to the ever growing guilt in Janeway's heart.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Seven walked onto the bridge and headed to the turbolift. She was stopped by Harry.

**"Seven, I saw you with Neelix before the mission and I thought you should know...he was killed. He's in sickbay but...he's dead, I'm sorry."**

Harry didn't know why but he felt Seven should be told in person and not through the ship wide announcement that was sure to happen soon.

Seven took in the news stoically before nodding and stepping into the turbolift. ** "Sickbay."** The lift whooshed along as Seven closed her eyes.

_Annika, who saw and heard everything Seven did, was sitting on the floor, crying. Seven rushed to her, got down to the girl's level, and held her as she cried._

_**"Annika, there is a way to save Neelix."** Seven said, after a few moments of silence._

_Annika, in tears, looked up at Seven,** "How?"**_

_**"It's a Borg procedure, used to reactivate drones mostly but it can be modified to work for Neelix."**_

_**"Do it, get him back Seven, please. He's one of the very few people who've been nice to us."**_

_**"I understand. If...Katie, I mean if Captain Janeway, agrees to it, I'll get him back Annika."**_

_Seven hugged the young girl before she opened her eyes and returned to the real world._

Just in time for the turbolift doors to open and Seven walked to Sickbay. As she walked in she heard Janeway say, **"somehow, that feels appropriate."**

Seven walked up to Janeway, forcing herself to see the Captain and not Katie, and said,** "Neelix is dead."**

**"I'm afraid so."**

If Janeway expected Seven (or Annika) to break down she was in for a surprise as Seven directed her next question to the Doctor, **"His neural pathways--are they intact?"**

**"Yes, but there's no metabolic activity."**

**"How long has he been dead?"** Seven needed to know, to be sure her plan would work.

Janeway, not understanding Seven's reaction, intervened, **"Seven, I understand--"**

**"How long?"** Seven interrupted, not willing to be deterred.

Chakotay answered, Seven had forgotten he was even in the room until he spoke,** "It's been 18 hours."**

Seven took that in, **"then it's not too late to reactivate him."**

Tom Paris spoke up,** "What are you saying, that you can bring Neelix back to life?"**

**"That's precisely what I am saying. The Borg have assimilated species with far greater medical knowledge than your own. We are capable of reactivating drones as much as 73 hours after what you would call death."**

**"Neelix wasn't a Borg drone."** Chakotay said, stating the obvious.

Seven hid her grin when she heard Annika in her head say, _'duh! Commander Obvious! Who the hell was talking to you? Sheesh, shut up and listen! Dummy!'_ **"We will adapt."**

**"What does this 'procedure' involve?"** Though reluctant, the Doctor was obviously curious in learning something new.

Seven explained, talking mostly to the Doctor and Janeway, having already dismissed Chakotay and Paris from her mind. She didn't need their approval she needed Janeway's...and to a lesser extent the Doctor's.

**"Nanoprobes are used to reverse cellular necrosis, while the cerebral cortex is stimulated with a neuro-electric iso--pulse."**

**"But there's nothing left to stimulate. His brain functions are gone."** The Doctor said.

**"By your narrow definition perhaps, but not by mine. You will extract 70 micrograms of Nanoprobes from my bloodstream. I will modify them to match his Talaxian physiology."** Seven paused a moment before she said,** "his function in this crew is diverse. If you wish to salvage him, we must proceed immediately."**

Tom was all for it but Janeway needed a moment to think it through. After a few moments of thought, and Seven's reassurance that it would work and there'd be no ill-effects to Neelix's brain, Janeway looked Seven in the eye for a few seconds before lowering her gaze and giving the order to proceed, despite the Doctor's protests.

Janeway and the others left and Seven and the Doctor began the process, Seven smiled to herself when Annika thanked her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was the first night of Prixin and Seven stood close to the door of the mess hall, apart from the rest of the crew as she observed them.

The procedure had been a success and Neelix was alive again, but Seven noticed something wasn't the same about him. His smile didn't come as easily to his face as it had before. Seven was only at the party because it was mandatory and because Annika had insisted they go so she could see Neelix and make sure he was okay. Seven stood silently as she observed Neelix's demeanor. Annika saw right away and told Seven that Neelix looked uncomfortable, like he felt out of place. Which was ridiculous because from what she'd gathered, Prixin was Neelix's favorite holiday and he'd been the one to really convince Janeway to add it to the celebrations. Before Seven could approach him, Tuvok began talking.

As Tuvok's speech progressed, Seven observed Neelix's growing discomfort. When Tom Paris turned everyone's attention onto Neelix, he looked like he was going to jump out of his skin. Seven noticed that no one besides herself seemed to notice Neelix's discomfort.

Seven remained in her spot, not knowing how to put Neelix at ease or even if it was her place to try, so she stayed there as the others mingled. She watched as the crew interacted with each other, and idly wondered if there would ever come a time when she would be comfortable in this type of setting.

Seven, knowing she couldn't leave the party so early, distracted herself by looking around at the crew, noting their joy in the moment. Her observations were cut short when she noticed Captain Janeway walk up beside her.

There was a smile on Kathryn's face as she asked in a slightly amused tone,** "having fun?"**

**"No."** Seven wanted to say that Annika was having fun but Janeway interrupted her.

**"That's probably because you've been standing here by yourself."** Janeway had been keeping an eye on Seven for a few minutes before she'd approached her, hoping the younger woman would join the festivities on her own.

Seven studied the other woman for a moment,** "I'm not by myself, Annika is with me."** Seven paused a moment then,** "I--we don't understand the rules and procedures for this type of...social occasion."** Seven turned away at the admission, suddenly shy for some reason.

Kathryn suddenly realized that Seven was truly out of her depth, and Annika, being a child, would be no help. She softened her tone, her heart aching at the memory of Annika and the image of her young friend in such an intimidating setting as a party like this could be, **"the rules are simple. Choose a group of people, listen to their conversation. Then, when you feel like you have something to contribute, chime in."**

Seven was confused by that last bit, **"'chime in'?"**

**"You say something,"** Janeway clarified,** "join the discussion."**

Seven took a calming breath before,** "I will try Captain, but when will we have _our_ discussion?"**

Kathryn smiled,** "after the party, in my quarters, say...2230 hours?"**

Seven nodded, then walked away to choose a group of people to talk to.

Kathryn watched her go, content for the moment to stand by and make sure Seven didn't require her help. Kathryn felt very protective of Seven and Annika and she didn't want them hurt. She also took the moment to study Seven.

When Janeway realized her eyes were slowly tracing the curve of Seven's breasts and having impure, inappropriate thoughts about Seven's body, she mentally scolded herself before she turned away from Seven and went to talk with Chakotay...anything to distract herself from the nature of her thoughts. The lust that went with those thoughts had hit her like a sucker punch to the gut.

Seven walked over to the Doctor who was speaking to a blond woman. After listening to their conversation, Seven concluded that the woman was the mother of the child, Naomi Wildman.

The doctor's voice caught her attention again,** "the early stages of K'tarian development are astounding. Naomi has grown five centimeters since her last physical and that was only three weeks ago."**

The blond agreed,** "it seems like every time I turn around, I'm recycling her clothes back into the replicator."**

Despite Annika's warning to stay quiet a bit longer, Seven spoke up,** "Children assimilated by the Borg are placed in maturation chambers for 17 cycles."**

Annika cringed in the silence that followed Seven's words, trying not to say _'I told you so'_ to Seven.

The blonde broke the silence first,** "interesting. Well, if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to Neelix."** The blonde left.

The Doctor, curious yet a little sarcastic, asked,** "in these, maturation chambers, the development of conversation skills is, I suppose, a low priority?"**

Seven studied him,** "Yes. Borg do not make small talk."**

**"I see."**

Annika wanted to hurt the Doctor for his tone and his mocking but knew he was a hologram and couldn't be hurt so she simply told Seven to walk away.

Seven arched her eyebrow at the Doctor then walked away, Borg arrogance firmly on display as she moved around the room, killing time until she could head to the Captain's quarters for their long delayed talk.

An hour before she was to report to the Captain's quarters, the Doctor asked Seven to run a hematological scan on Neelix so that he could regulate the next injection of Nanoprobes. Seven was about to refuse when she reminded herself that it was important, and a scan didn't normally take that long.

Seven walked into the deserted mess hall and found Neelix cleaning up. She explained about the scan and why it was needed and Neelix stood there as she began the scan.

But soon, Neelix began to voice his discomfort with the situation, **"how much longer will I be needing these injections?"**

Seven answered in her usual Borg tone,** "until your damaged cells can function on their own."**

**"I don't really like the idea of Borg technology swimming around inside of me." **

Seven glanced at him for a second then went back to the tricorder.** "That is irrelevant. You need the nanoprobes to live."**

**"Live? Oh, is that what I am doing right now, living? I'm beginning to wonder."** Neelix began to move around the room and Seven started to get frustrated. At this rate, she'd be late for her talk with Kathryn. Seven tried to get Neelix to stand still by talking to him.

**"By most definitions, you are alive."**

**"Well, part of me isn't alive."**

**"Which part are you referring to?"**

Seven tried to continue the scan when Neelix moved again.

**"I don't know, but something is missing. I don't feel like Neelix anymore. Maybe Neelix is gone. Maybe he died and I'm all that's left."**

Seven thought about that, in a way she could relate to what Neelix was talking about. The rift between who she was before she became Borg (Annika) and who she was now (Seven) could be likened to a form of death. In essence, when she was assimilated a form of Annika died and when she was reactivated, all that was left was Seven. But Annika was still there, hidden and trapped by the Borg technology and now, Seven had a chance to know her, to be her again if she could find the key to their unification--if Seven could be more human and less Borg.

Seven, however, said nothing of this to Neelix, instead she said,** "stop moving and allow me to complete the scan."**

**"I--I didn't ask to be brought back!"**

**"You were dead at the time."**

**"What right did you have to violate me?"** Neelix demanded, angry,** "you Borg think you can fix anything, but you didn't fix me!"**

**"There was no alternative."**

**"Just get out. Just leave me alone. I said get out!"** By now, Neelix was right in Seven's face, screaming.

Annika was a little scared but Seven stood her ground,** "I would be negligent in my duties if I did that."**

**"I don't care about your duties! I don't care--"** Neelix stopped yelling as the pain took over and he stumbled to a nearby chair. Seven picked up the tricorder again to find out what was wrong. When she saw that his cells were reverting to a necrotic state--dying--she rushed him to Sickbay.

After the Doctor explained the situation to the Captain and Chakotay, he sent the Commander to talk with Neelix. The Doctor went to his office to check on something and Seven and Kathryn were alone for a moment.

Seven turned to Kathryn, **"I'm...sorry that our talk was delayed."**

**"Seven it's not your fault. Once Neelix is done talking to Chakotay and the Doctor gives the all clear, you and I are going to talk--tonight. Understood?"**

Seven nodded.

After a few moments, Chakotay came back and after some more talk, the Doctor cleared Neelix to leave Sickbay and he left with Chakotay.

Seven and Janeway left too and headed to the Captain's quarters for their long delayed talk.

TBC...

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay...other stuff got in the way. Hope this tides y'all over until I can get back to this fic.**


End file.
